The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Often Times I catch myself reaching out for the Next thing in my life, and yet somehow I dont feel Content with what I currently have I dont like that about myself, and I have been trying to make myself Aware of it
I have so many things to be grateful for, and I do love the life I lead But when it comes to the projects I take on around the house, I tend to bite off more than I can chew and then I have a terrible time trying to get a Completion on something
I feel at times Like I am nothing more than a Multi-Tasking Multi Tasker if that makes any since what so ever I am on the move Nonstop and yet there Never seems to be Anything that ever is Complete. Truly it does make me crazy; I am just not sure how to make it better I mean I know that A lot of it will never get better because I have to do it day in day out, with no Completion in sight. (Like the Laundry, Dishes, Scrubbing Floors) and honestly, I feel I ½ ass them as well, just to get it over with.
Awhile back I Got Rid of My To Do List and now I keep thinking if Maybe I would still be keeping one, that I would be able to get something done, yet the reason I got rid of it, was the constant reminder of Everything I had to get done.
I think at times I spend more time worrying about what I going to do, then what I actually get accomplished in a day. I know that this is my time of year to just Be and try my best to find things that keep me out of depression and that is a tough one for me in the winter. But I have not given up yet, I guess Just for Today I am frustrated with the Rain, Frustrated with Me, and Frustrated there is Nothing I can do about those 2 things atthis moment I know that I have to Let Go of My Own Insecuritys and find a way to pull through this just as I have many times before.However Dreary weather for me has never been my friend.
There was a Time I could Dance in the Rain, now when it starts I want to go Hide in a Corner, (Warm Corner) and not come out till its over. I suppose I am Just in need of a Lift, a Pick me Up, a Warm and Fuzzy Feeling to come over me, like I have Worth! Like I am Human and deserve to get things done, yet I cant stop piling them on to find out which would be a better course of action
Suppose I am still Grieving the loss of My Dad at times, and then other times I feel like I am Using it for an excuse to be miserable. Im to the point I am Tired of My Own Excuses, I just wish I had the Motivation to do something Positive about it!
I totally understand what you are saying! I feel like you just expressed exactly what I feel. Isn't it terrible to feel that way? A lady in my al-anon meeting suggested something that has helped me many times over the last month with the issues you discuss. She mentioned that she was feeling so underwhelmed with everything she had to get done and that even looking at the messy dishes in the sink would cause her so much stress. So she just decided to turn it all over to god and say "God thank you for the dirty dishes in the sink, it means I have a home and food to feed my family". THen she said she just did it with everything in her life "God thank you for the list of projects I have to finish, that means I have hte means of starting them".
I now do it whenever I start to feel the way you described. Like today, my baby was up multiple times last night and i had to be at work at 6. When my alarm went off I wanted to cry. Instead I said "thank you god for helping me to get up at 4:40 this morning. I am glad I have a job to go to and the strength to get out of my bed and start the day". I don't know that it helps me get things done, but it refocuses my attention away from all the negativity.
(((((Jozie)))) Right there with ya most days-multi tasking multi tasker-like it:) I've really been trying with all I have to be Just for Today-I find that if I think about all I have to do and everyone that needs a piece of me it is just more than I can bare. There is nothing and no one in my life right now that I can let go of, and I am determined to stay in today-even if it is fear keeping me here right now. I still have my To Do list-mostly because of my memory issues, but I don't make it a Have to Be Done Now list. I TRY to cross off one thing a day-and it might be something as simple as trimming all the dogs nails, but it is something, and when I cross it off...I feel like I've put forth some effort. I add to the list, and take away from it all the time and it helps me stay steady. I've also been doing a monthly "date" with my son...skating, movies, going through old photos and making collages...or watching his favorite show with him.... You'll find what works for you...you always do:) One day at a time is all we have,,,,make it count:) love ya! shelly
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
My friend likened this never-ending overwhelming "THING" to an elephant.
HUGE...so how do you start to eat it...you nibble the toenail and do not try to put the whole thing in your mouth. It just wont happen.
ME? I am with Stomoxy...I take one thing at a time and give thanks to God for it. Having a home to clean means I am not living on the street. Having a garden to do means I am double blessed. Having the food shopping to do means I have an apetite and the means to go and DO the shopping whilst others in the world have NOTHING to eat and NOTHING to buy food with either.
When I was so sick and had little energy and motivation I made a TO DO LIST, but found that if I heaped everything on it it was more discouraging than encouraging. And I even got to the place where I could only do things for five minutes at a time, so...I split the tasks done to five minute bites.
Gradually as I got better at facing the never-ending tasks I did longer stints of 15minues at a time, then half hour at a time.
I lowered my standards a little, so what if I did not hoover every day, so what if I washed up once a day...this was more GREEN, saving energy both in myself, and on electric or water...and I wrote a DONE list as I completed my little bites of tasks...it was surprising at the end of the day how much I had done AND THIS WAS POSITIVE ENOURAGEMENT instead of facing a TO DO LIST that never seemed to reduce.
As soon as I had done the laundry, there I was facing more to do. As soon as I had done the ironing I had more to do...so I LISTED the things I HAD DONE to encourage myself and did not make a TO DO LIST. The DONE list was a way of realising that whilst it may not seem that I had accomplished much, I listed what I had done and that was the positive slant that changed my ability to cope.
Eventurally, I learnt how to write a TO DO LIST that did NOT overface me. As I am the only one who is ever going to do these things I also accepted that they would NOT get done unless I did them so I had to learn how to remove the negativity and fill it with positivity.
Thank you God that I have clothes to wash and iron and wear, it means I am not naked. Thank you God for my homemaking skills in the baking and cooking that I do, it means I can feed me and my family and my friends, instead of relying on someone else to feed me. Thank you God that I can decorate, it means I am even more blessed that someone who has not even got a room of their own, or a roof over their head.
Baby steps Jozie when it gets too overwhelming and too disheartening.
There will always be jobs to do, you will NEVER get to the end...it is your approach and acceptance of this that matters, and the ability to be realistic and not overpowered by it and daunted.
With love, (((((Jozie))))) from me Suzannah
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Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
