I hope your sitting by the computor , put your coat on and go to a mall or a late movie , find a coffee shop to sit and read a magazine get out of the house for awhile no need to sit and watch him drink . Accept  the fact that he is drinking and has probably gone for more . he is an alcoholic he is only doing what alcoholics do - drink ..
 Your going to make yourself sick and will not enjoy the weekend with your family , dont let this disease ruin the family gathering , your nervous about family comming , you can bet husb is too he is under alot of pressure to behave  , so buckle up and enjoy   Louise

The recovery ladies here are very strong and keep reminding me that in early
program it was the women of Al-Anon that rescued my butt from the disease
and handed it back to me in one piece...I can only add that part of what I
learned and they taught me was usually under these situations what was
triggering the anger was fear and that most of that was driven by my projection
of something going wrong. So they taught me "Don't project" don't be a "fortune
teller".  The other thing they gave me was that the opposite of anger was
acceptance of the situation...not the morality or fairness of it but just the fact of
it and that I had no power over the fact of it.  When I could accept it and that
I was powerless over it the anger went away and I could be happier doing any
thing else otherwise I packed up the anger and fear and took them with me
everywhere I went.

Mahalo Ladies of MIP...((((hugs))))

Hon Abbyal spoke what I wanted to say.

I KNOW how you are feeling. As we get more skills, and change our sick from the disease ways, we don't feel as you do anymore.

We want our loved one to come home, eat, sit, be together like "normal." It's so hard to accept it as is when it is not what we want.

If we choose to be with someone, it is so much easier to accept it as it is. We learn to make our life more separate. We learn to do for us more, so it is natural to do as abbyal said. We sit in the quiet and read, put a few candles on.

We go thriftshopping, we learn to give our A to our HP and then we do for us. Bake, write in a journal,we go on with our own stuff.

Then when they do come home, we are just glad they are home.

No use fighting and feeling left alone. If we choose to stay with an A, we do best if we learn to live with it as happily as we can.

We cannot control them but we can control us.

Sharing experience is what we can do, so maybe we can help others to see another  way of looking at things.

We can think up the worst scenerios. But it is never as bad as we worry it will be.

This week end will be ok. Whatever happens, happens. People are not perfect. Enjoy each other. If A drinks, he drinks. They know he is A. If they gossip, shame on them, does not mean you have to be part of it.

It is not your disease, so what would make you think you would have to do anything? If anyone takes you aside, we can say it is a hard thing to have the disease of aism.

When we look at ourselves, we see how the disease makes us so sick. If he had diabetes and there was a mountain of yummy desserts, we would not worry about him going into a diabetic coma, or spiking his blood sugar then acting crazy.

Maybe someone lost a bunch of weight, came to your dinner and had three plates ready. Can we control that?

That which we cannot control, we do not even consider trying to. Weather, flow of a river, ocean waves, we cannot control another person.

This is where let go and leg god comes in. Or just plain let go.

wow vegan? I would love to come to your place. Did i get that right? Was your other post right?

I am a vegan, wish I could eat dairy but wow I would weigh a ton I love it so much. So good I can't.

Anyway, maybe you can take things as they come, just be where you are. It is not our job to protect the A or run interferance.

I would LOVE to have a family to have a week end with. The disease can only ruin it if you give it attention.

love,debilyn