Hoping this is the right place.. - Al-Anon Family Group

LotsoDreams · Member

Hoping this is the right place..

Goodtillitsbad · Veteran Member

Welcome! You certainly are in the right place.
Do you have the ability to go to F2F(face to face) Al Anon meetings in your area? If so, I think that would be a great start, you can get some books to read and meet others who understand.

Congratulations for making the first step and posting here. Just remember, take it one day at a time and you will learn and grow so much.

One thing I learned REALLY quickly with this program was that it has nothing to do with my AH (Alcoholic Husband) and all about me and my attitudes.

Also, I learned one of the best things about this program is that I now have options in my life, a whole lot more than I ever even dreamed of or thought.

HUGS and Welcome!

LotsoDreams · Member

Thank you, and the face to face is probably not an option. I honestly don't even know how he's going to feel about all this so I figured I'd keep it on the computer for right now until I can talk to him about it and go from there.

Thank you I didn't know it was a first step but I am happy it is, and I am definitely going to take it a day at a time and I am hoping to learn and grow as much as humanly possible.

There are days that are just wonderful then other days that aren't. I am thinking if I can fix myself a little maybe I can help my kids not take the same path? I am hoping that's how it works anyway.

abbyal · ~*Service Worker*~

hello and welcome , perhaps if you tell your husb that his drinking is causing you a problem he wont object to your attending meetings , your not accusing him of anything just stating the facts. I am sure you have been told that your the one with the problem not him . There is nothing you can do about his drinking but alot you can do for yourself and your children . again welcome

LotsoDreams · Member

Thank you for the welcome. I can try to tell him that, and yes I've been told many times I'm the one with the problem not him. I really do need to do what is best for my children and myself I am realizing that more and more as time goes by. Could you tell me if these meetings allow children? I have small children that I would have to have with me. I am not sure if this is a fight I am willing to have with him or not but at the same time I am ready to begin something, anything to feel half way human again. Part of that comes from the questions my older kids are beginning to ask me, the other part comes from not knowing how to answer their questions cause I have some of those same questions myself. I don't want them to grow up thinking it's ok to be this way, or to be with someone this way. I want so much better for them and I know I can't achieve that without seeking help for myself so I can teach them a better way of life. Not saying my life is horrible, I do love my husband very much and I know there are times I can't stand how he is or what he says or what he does but there are also times I see how amazing he is and the reasons I am in love with him those times are becoming fewer and farther between though. Goodness I sound like I am whining I apologize I am honestly just trying to find a way to learn and create something better for my children and myself before it is to late. My oldest is 12 and my younger ones are 1. I can already see some aggression issues with my older two and to know I am probably the cause of that for not seeking some type of wisdom, or help earlier makes it hard to face reality at times. But I keep hoping it's not to late and finally got up the courage to start searching for some type of encouragement, guidance, maybe even motivation, I am not sure which or what or anything right now other then I found this website read it for a few days and finally decided to see what options I have out there from those who have the knowledge and the wisdom of how to turn things around one day at a time. I realize the past is the past and I can do nothing to change that, and I also realize he's never going to stop drinking. But I've finally came to the conclusion that I have to protect my children no one else can do it for me. It may take a day at a time, but I am more then willing to put any work or time into fixing something for my kids which mean the world to me. Thank you for taking the time to read this I really do appreciate how nice everyone has been. I can definitely look into making it to meetings it's going to be hard because he tends to be a bit of a controller, but if that's the only way I'll have to figure it out. thanks again.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Hello LotsoDreams
I would like to add my welcome and say that you are in the right place. Many alanon Face to Face meetings are hEld in the day time and do permit children

You can find a meeting in your are by going to

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html

OUR ON LINE MEETINGS ARE HELD 2XS A DAY AND ARE VERY HELPFUL iT IS SO IMPORTANT TO BREAK THE ISOLATION AND CONNECT with people who understand and WHERE YOU CN BE GIVEN NEW CONSTRUCTIVE TOOLS TO LIVE YOUR LIFE. YOU AND YOUR FAMILY DESERVE THIS

Alanon tools can give you the ability to make those "LotsoDreams" into reality

KEEP COMING BACK
We

Hoot Nanny · ~*Service Worker*~

Lotsodreams:
you are in the rigtht place! You may find what you are looking for here like a lot of us have!
I for one am so grateful for this as I cannot get to as many meetings as I would like--Face to
face anyhow!
Kathleen

LotsoDreams · Member

Thank you Hotrod --

I have been thinking about this a little and have decided I am going to go ahead and start off with your online meetings - (If and when I can make them)- that will give me some time to prepare to talk to him about this group, and possibly going to face to face meetings. In which I am hoping he doesn't get to upset about.

I am glad that they permit children, that will make it easier on me when I do go to the meetings. I've just got to muster up the courage to sit down and talk to him about this all. I really appreciate the positive words and encouragement it means a whole lot to me. I have never ever done anything like this before but I am very very happy that you all have a group like this to help people out. I am already feeling a great deal of relief by just knowing I'm not alone out there. Thanks again:)

LotsoDreams · Member

Kathleen,

Thank you, I sure hope I find something I already feel so welcome and all the information is amazing. I maybe in the same boat as you are as far as face to face meetings. I guess I should explain a little. My husband is in his 60s and I am in my 30s, so he's not very accepting of a lot of things. I haven't spoke to him about joining this group as of yet, nor do I know when I will so the face to face meetings are going to have to wait until I can see how he feels about it or if he'll even accept it. but the online meetings I am pretty sure I can make without him knowing, I hope anyway. This place is so friendly, thank you for the upbeat message:)

LotsoDreams · Member

For some reason I can't get into the chat at all any advice?

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