The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Wife has been in a good mood lately and quite tolerable and easy to communicate with, so I noticed I was feeling happier these days. Ok, probably fairly normal thing, but it struck me that I've got to learn to feel this good regardless of her mood. I've been codependant on her moods that affected how I feel. Just made a note that I have to watch this.
This is progress, one step at a time. Realising this you will come to terms and become more aware and dependent on yourself rather than live your life through someone else's moods.
(((((hugs))))) and thank you for your comments on my Tiger post.
__________________
Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
I am so guilty of the same thing. I am trying so hard to separate myself and my own feelings about myself and my life. It's a struggle, but we can do it, and we don't have to do it by ourselves.
It may be slow but you are changing and nothing is more frightening to an alcoholic than someone getting happy and it isn't them , change creates change as u respond instead of react so does she ,it only takes one person to change .. keep going
MJ I also agree with the other posts. The disease makes the alcoholic miserable inside and out. Think 3 C's. Our moods, thoughts and feelings do not have to reflect or mirror what they are going through. If we allow that to happen the disease has won. We are responsible for our own happiness. We are in control of our own happiness. The program gives us the tools and with practice we can be happy whether the alcoholic in our life is drinking or not.
Keep working your program, your heading in the right direction.
I love this. It has been so freeing to not be attached to someone elses behavior or moods.
It's not always easy to do and sometimes I may slip (just a little) but the more I go to meetings, share and come here and read everyones esh the better I get.
Unfortunately I dont always have a lot of time to post but I do visit this site numerous times through out the day for a few minutes at a time and it definately helps my awareness of my behaviors and constantly reminds me that I am only responsible for me and how I am going to act and what I am going to do accomplish today.