The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My recent victory was one to work at and work at it I did. No slacking, no finding excuses, no self doubt. I dug deep and found the resolve and belief in me for myself. Having CHANGED my doubt into BELIEF made all the difference.
If you think you cann't you WON'T.
If you think you can you WILL.
Negativity breeds defeat.
A positive attitude nurtures success.
Despite the obstacles in one's path one CAN find ways around them or over them if one is determined enough to go beyond.
These little arrowheads of thought have certainly been at the forefront of my thinking for sometime now and I have found that it is one's own ATTITUDE that often stops one from beginning or completing a challenge.
Climbing that mountain taught me so much about myself for I am a SLOW learner and it has taken me years to come to find the real me. Not just a part of me or me of the moment, I mean I found what I was made of and what I could achieve and how I thought. That is why that mountain was so important.
I needed to physically achieve and attack a physical goal with all of my being and all of my mental ability. Physical problems can be healed with time and with the right medical attention when one seeks a way to work WITH the physical impairment or limitations but the mental injury is far more difficult to heal.
It is the mental injury that all of us fight to conquer and so often fail to heal and it takes guts, determination and self belief.
A person can do so much damage to one's psyche that the damaged person gives up and stops believing in himself/herself...it takes mental strength to conquer that disbelief and begin to believe again.
Somehow I did conquer that despite what my XAH had done to me, and with the help and support of many people over many years I have turned the ruin of me into a strong fortress and I know how to defend my fortress now.
This is the result Alanon tools and alanon family and alanon love teaches us to strife to attain, and although it may seem unattainable at times, it is the perseverance and the wanting of it so badly that can turn things around.
Thank you my family...I may have been away for sometime but you were never far away from me. There were days when a thought of all of you, or even one of you, made the difference and got me to pick myself up, dust myself down and continue the work on myself.
I took out my "Blueprint For Progress" about ten days ago and looked at the questions and findings that I had filled in over the years, and I was surprised to read some of my notes. The findings were the most amazing though and I noted that on some of them I had worked through the chapter again and again; the result being that I found more and more out about myself.
These exercises had pieced me together over time and slowly I reflected that here was the beginning of finding the holistic me.
Now I have a good picture of my progress and how inch by inch I was gaining success.
That is what started me off and I urge each of you to revisit those parts of yourself that have been damaged and note the change in you over time. It is a wonderful experience to visit one's old self to witness the change beginning to take shape.
I still have a lot of thanks to give to various members of this forum and I have a love of you all that can only be positive and embracing.
Take care that you look for the positive growth and watch for the negative injuries to heal.
God bless as always,
Suzannah
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Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
Welcome back Suzannah!! Did some awesome growth work and came away from it so right on...This was a much more powerful post than I've read before. I can use this to help me move forward also. So thanks for the push...((((hugs))))
I also feel complete. That in itself is an awesome feeling...I have no need to worry what others think of me...I have proved to MYSELF I am a worthy and purposeful person, capable of great things if I only continue to believe in MYSELF.
However, I gain my satisfaction in helping others through and if my story and recovery helps anyone to take just ONE MORE STEP toward wholeness then I am absolutely and most perfectly happy.
I only give back what I have received in the past, and for that I feel humble and honoured.
Suzannah
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Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
Wow, Suzannah, thank you! Perhaps I will one able to take ONE MORE STEP toward where I am supposed to be. While I feel I have made some pretty good recovery, believing in myself is compromised at times, and certainly an important part of the journey.
I agree with you about Blue Prints for Progress. While I still am pushing through it (on my second year!) sometimes when I review what I wrote I am amazed. There have been times that I did not even understand what I meant because I had moved so far beyond. It is those moments ,in black and white, that make me really realize I am changing, and that the way we view ourselves and the world is not how it has to be.
Blessings,
Lou
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Every new day begins with new possibilities. It's up to us to fill it with the things that move us toward progress and peace. ~ Ronald Reagan~
Sometimes what you want to do has to fail, so you won't ~Marguerite Bro~
