The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Obviously program must be helping. Getting positive feedback and ESH from everyone has to help. I've been reading websites about self love and happiness research (plus articles I find). I find that constantly reading about this helps it to sink in. I've also been thinking about why I should treat myself more harshly than I'd treat my daughter or anyone else for that matter. I never seem to speak negatively towards anyone but myself (even when venting about the wife's behavior I don't call her the things I call myself). So being more tolerant of my mistakes and shortcomings.
I also find that I'm not a great predictor of how I'd react to a situation. EX: Brought my daughter to her therapist (1st time) and I was feeling defeated like I'd somehow failed as a parent, or didn't protect her enough etc. I actually feel hopeful now. She seemed to like it, I was told she is "very verbal" and she even seemed like a load was lifted off her mind these days - happier, joyful etc...more than usual. Of course it could be coincidence. Either way I feel better about it.
Not letting my wife's comments get to me as much. I simply walk away if I don't like the way I'm being spoken to.
I'm doing more things I like. Practicing guitar everyday, cooking as often as I can, visiting places locally that lift me up (old towns generally), doing fun things with daughter (and wife has participated at times in a positive way).
I've also accepted that I need to have a better relationship with myself before I can have a good intimate relationship with anyone else.
I'm sure the combination of these things is helping, but I couldn't pick any one thing that's made a huge difference. Doesn't matter I guess as long as I feel better.
Taking your MIP vitamins and having a growth spurt...YAY!! (((((hugs)))))
It gets even better if you can believe that and all you gotta do is keep coming back, follow the suggestions, listen, learn; practice, practice, practice and leave it up to your HP to drive the bus.
I couldn't have been happier to have read your post !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are getting it my friend and it only gets better from here as long as you are working your program. I am thrilled your daughter has finally atarted therapy. I wish when I was younger someone would have cared enough to do that for me. Looking forward to more positive posts from you Blessings
I am much the same, in that I couldn't pinpoint exactly what was changing, but I was feeling better.
I read all the CAL I could get my hands on, and slowly the messages started to sink in. Even so, I'd hear someone in a meeting read aloud a passage from a book I'd read, and some of the words struck me anew, as if I hadn't just seen them a few weeks previously.
The, the first time worrying thoughts started to trouble me, a slogan popped into my head. And it stopped the endless tape loop of worry.
I still don't know HOW it works, all I know is it's working.
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Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could... Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. - Emerson
