Welp... Today I was Tested On old ways, and I think over all, gave it my Best Al-Anon Try :)

Ok, I have shared that I am going to be a Grandma again, (So Flip'n Excited) and that my stepson, had recently divorced (Last Week :D) and was moving on with his new lady & baby to be, well I'm sure many no of Facebook/myspace & What not...

So, My ASister calls me this morning, *Let me just say she has a habit of being ALL wrapped in 'others' problems at the bar to avoid Alot of her own* Anywho....During her call (Daily) she is all upset about a statement, Pointed at ME, that she seen on the "X-wifes" wall...

At 1st I jumped right on the "Well We all know what she is" wagon, and I was shaking so bad I had to get OFF the phone... So Sis then "Text" me from her phone to tell me that she works with the Girl that was in on the conversation, and she was going to say something to her... "I Didn't Respond!"

So... I sat down and pulled out my 1st daily and the 1st line :) "A Guilty Conscience needs no accuser" Hummmm

And I got to thinkin... What exactly do I care what an "Addict" says or feels about me??? She's Sick, Deseased,  I mean Really... It is NONE of my business what she thinks or feels, Its really not my problem that she can't come to me and say what is on her mind... What is my Problem, is that I have know desire to ever see this women again, nor care what it is she may or may not say... I don't want to hold resentments, because that only effects me...

So... Text the Sis back, and told her! "Please don't feel the need to speak to this women for me, It is NONE of my Business what she feels or says.." 
 
"her" Well I don't want people talking bad and hurtin my family"

Me "She can't hurt me, she can only hurt herself... Thanks but I Choose to "Let Go & Let God"

"her" (Long pause 1st) Your Right Sis, I'm sorry I said anything and hope I didn't ruin your day, I'm still learning these new Life tools "Thanks to your teaching me!" Let'n Go

You would have to know my Asister, to know how HUGE that was for her to even say such a thing... (90% of the time she likes to be out for blood) ...

So any how.. Reading on and the "Last" Line in my Daily was ....

"Inner Peace Can't be Manipulated; if I don't Deserve it, I won't Have it."

Hummmm

All I can say is Amen HP works in Mysterious ways... Now Mind you I have 10 Daily's.. 'At Least' today When argry and upset, I chose this one.. Or Did I? I been Outside my own head here of late, I have been tryin to adjust Not being home Every night after work, making games, doctor appts, teachers meeting, homework, not eating at home because its always to late till the games are over, and probably the same life "Sooooo Many" others are doing as well... And since I have not been inside the 'Rooms' of al-anon, I find it is easier to back track instead of move forward...

In my Ahome growing up, you were either moving at snail pace in life, climbing trees, playing in streams, or you were going at it 100MPH, Don't look back got to go, get there get done, and pretty much just be miserable no matter if it was a day to grandma's to visit or a trip to the market... All or nothing... It is such a struggle for me sometimes to just 'Keep it between the lines of life' what ever that might be...I was never taught how to manange, I have Always "Winged it"

I look forward & back so much that steady progress is really tough for me, and i know at the end of this month the game season gets a couple months off, and then I will have to get comfortable Living IN my home again... My Life is a Constant Roller Coaster Ride, and balance for me has always been a struggle due to the fact that I have never had it...

I was Proud of myself today that I didn't go to 'that' place for Long, That place that lays me in "resentments, hatred, and ill feelings" I'm grateful that i Could hand it to HP, and feel good that I don't have live with making a "Reaction" statement, then down the line wish I didn't... I'm happy that my ASis, Had a "Very TINY" light bulb moment, I'm grateful I can lay my head on my pillow soon, and no that I am Slowly Rising above the Ignorane of My Past... I am Slowly becoming someone "I" can like and enjoy, In my own company...

I know the Hills will turn into Mountains, and the mountains sometimes cliffs, but ya know, HP Says that I don't have to do it ALL today, Just One Day At a Time... Or Moment if that is what "I" Need... My Guess :) is "I'm right were "I'M" suppose to be"

Thanks for Listenin & For Being here, tho I can't get to you all for comment, I do read and learn, and without ALL of you, Newbies, Oldies, and in between, I wouldn't be able to blossom So Thank you   I AM GRATEFUL FOR YOU ALL

Thanks for Helping me, Find Me

Jozie