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level.
We live in a world filled with hate and mean people. I never realized this until this young man passed away in my home.
Don't misunderstand me, I have seen mean and unforgiving people in my lifetime but this is something I never thought I would see.
Since this episode I for the first time in my life am truely afraid, I am aftaid for my children.
Today my daughter went to Walmart came out of the store and some girl just started pounding on her. Screaming at her you deserve this bit** you killed him. Mind you this boy was at my home more than his own. When we got the phone call my son went insane and sat down and just cried like a baby....( this is an 18 yr old macho young man) crying mom I can't take anymore....it's never going to stop.
In the past 3 years I have lost a husband my children have lost a father my kids have lost a friend in a quad accident. This boy Jesse was like my son and thier brother he lost his parents and lived here almost all of the time he was the closest thing my son had to a brother.
Now this my kids lost a friend to an overdose (addiction) whose fault is it? His he chose to do drugs he did and no one else and for some ungodly reason he died in my home.
Now I am not sure if this is a message from God but we are at the end of our rope. We really and truely can not take anymore.
I am afraid for my children, I am afraid that my son is going to hurt someone with the anger that is inside him, I am afraid my daughter is going to give up I am afraid.
I am trying to keep the faith, I am trying to tell my kids it will be ok but when something else keeps slapping them in the face it's hard to tell them to keep the faith.
The serenity prayer runs thru my head a million times a day......and sometimes it's hard to make it thru one second of the day let alone one full day......
If anyone attacked me or my children I would call 911 immediately.
You and your children should not have to be afraid, people talking is one thing, but physically attacking you or even threatening violence should not be tolerated.
I agree that if things get physical, it's assault and should be reported to police. No one should accept violence no matter how extreme the circumstances.
I will pray that HP nestles you and your family in peace and serenity, that sanity prevails in your community and that all remain safe.
Have you considered additional support for you and your children? The loss of their friend may require grief support, let alone the community reaction. I can highly recommend it.
The police were called she is going to be arrested if she already hasn't. The main problem is her safety. My son is also a concern because he loves his siste that much. If nothing else we do have much love for each other in this home.
I have and my kids have just had enough.......she is getting alot of support which is great.
Yes, you're right. You have a great asset that will help you through. The three of you share a deep and profound love. With your HP, let that love bind you together and help you through the storm.
Your son loves you both so much, I understand the concern you may have that he misdirects that love in a way that could get him in trouble. I've seen a similar, testosterone driven trait in my 18 y.o. However, he's also maturing quickly and when I shared my concern about the risk to him if he could not control his temper, he has made real progress in reigning it in.
(((Andrea))) How awful. People can be so cruel and mean hearted. I am so sorry for your pain and suffering. You have been through so much and yet, you show great strength. You will get through this, with your kids and your HP. Hang in there, we are all here for you.... Peace to you and to your family.
I'm sure you've considered this but I'd feel remiss if I didn't mention about getting the kids and yourself into therapy, as well as program. I'm so sorry you are going through this.
You & Your Kids are In My Thoughts & Prayers ... I am Sorry You have to go thru this, I wish there was something I could do to help, since you have helped bring back MY Faith on more the One occassion... Do the best you can to keep your Chin up... You are a Great Mom, and your Kids adore you, and when You are OK... They will be OK...
One Moment at a Time is as Fast as we can go sometimes... And thats OK... I no myself that there are days when I can't think past the next second or I get myself a mess... Know that i am Lifting you Up in Prayers today, you and your Children... They have a Great Roll Model, and thier HP will take care of them... As Yours will Take care of you :)
I agree do what u can to protect you and ur kids, I am sorry u are all going through this. The disease robs us of so much. I dont ahve any answer for you, but maybe if things are getting more and more challenging, its time for something new and different.
It upsets me too to see how quickly ppl blame and attack each other lately, everyone jumping to conclusions- our society is sick. All u can do is work on YOU, detach from the rest of it. Your kids will have to learn to self manage their emotional sides too. I understand that grief counseling helps. I went to counselling and got a really good therapist - it was a state thing, she had a sliding scale and I paid $20/hr to see her.
People dont understand and they have thier own perceptions, the world looks a lil different to us all. Focus on what u can do and do ur best - detach from the hate. If ur afraid pray for them, that helps me to let it go and feel insdie of me in this moment. Try to not solve everything at once, it is impossible. We get more and better ideas when we are calm, pls take care of YOU, so u can be well for them. love and prayers on the way!
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
One of my former neighbors screams "bitch".....and more whenever she sees me on the street. I think you are expecting really irrational people to somehow become rational. Do I care what my former neighbor says, nope. I would have been absolutely devastated and sought to understand "why". Some people's behavior is answerless. We can spend a lifetime wondering why me. These people do not specifically act on you, they've been doing it for a long long time. I do believe exhibiting that you are not going to take it in will help. I know for sure my former neighbor is irrational around lots of people. If I did not have a program I would take it personally.
Detaching when our backs are against the world is the highest level of performing that skill.
I`am so sorry for what you and your children are going through.
I think people in general feel the need to blame someone or something when something bad happens in life. It just so happens that something terrible happened to another human being in your home. Others will run rampant with this, by blaming others, in order to find a way to make some sort of sense of it in their own mind. Even if its NOT THE REALITY...
If this were me and my children I would get them into some counseling asap to help them deal with what is going on in their lives.
May you and childrens HP help you all through this difficult time.
Andrea when my husband was killed in the accident, get this, my AH who was my husband friend, his mom and some others yelled at ME who it was MY fault my AH had gotten killed!
I had NEVER gone out when he went out and got drunk with friends. I was an at home mom, into not giving my babies sugar, making our own cloths and bread, in other words a healthy loving earth mother.
Yet these creeps blamed me. What idiots. My now ex ah got in their faces and told them how well fing stupid they were. blah blah.
BUT I do relate.
Those kind of people have no manners, no intelligence. They only know blame and love drama, they love the high.
Your little family is so sick honey, in grief, suffering. All of you are beat down. And yes i an imagine your son is very angry ready to blow.
Putting myself in your place, maybe what you need is guidance. Your safe boundaries are so broken!
You need anti stressors, do you have anyone you guys can trust you can go to?
Just like any wound, we need to allow ourselves time to heal.
I don't know if you guys can get away. I can imagine it would be hard?
I am thinking, could you maybe change the living room, at least to start? Take everything down and repaint at least? Maybe one wall at a time?
Do it together?
Andrea the one thing my kids and I did was rafting. We each had a three man raft. Not a huge investment. Once you get them, then it is something that is free to do. cept the gas. it can be in very easy water or maybe a bit more. The challenge is good. we started with smaller rafts, then saved to get bigger ones.
It gets out that pent up stuff. If you can get together back packs, that might help you too. doing physical things is amazing. kids may gripe at first but once you get out there they really are great.
Outward bound adventures help growth too.
I don't know where you live, but getting away even for a day drive to somewhere cool will help.
I am glad you come here and vent. You better keep coming! love,debilyn
