This morning when I woke up and looked out the window I saw my neighbor had a tarp that had been covering a leaking skylight flapping inthe wind hanging down the side of her house. I watched it flap for awhile thinking of how it reminded me of the pictures of Christo's artistic events like draping fabric over the coastline or even the dorrway display in Central Park not that long ago. It was pretty and stayed in my head all day.

Yesterday I spent with family, who I love very much and know almost too well. Somehow the two events got me thinking today and I could hear reactions from my family members had this been thier neighbor.

I should go see if they need help with that.
They should fix that.
Why don't they just fix the window?
Oh my HP it's gonna fly off and hit someone's windshield cause an accident and somehow make a car come thru my front door.
I can't believe they will just leave it like that and go do whatever.

It makes me sad. Sometimes I wish I could find a way to stop those reactions so I enjoyed the time more or was less fearful of what is thought or said of me the next day and to see some peacefulness and wonder at something that isn't really wonderful. These types of reactions are not constant nor are they predictable as to timing and sometimes it makes it hard to truly enjoy spending time together. Sometimes I get scared because I remember my female relatives being like me once and now seem so judgemental at times. I am grateful for the outlook I have always had, even though it has caused some not so great decisions in my life. I believe I was meant to make them to put me right where I was supposed to be at that time. I am going to keep working in order to keep my wonder and joy of the world and the people in it. Maybe add to my prayers that my family can find a path to the wonders and peace of the mishaps or mundane, even annoying, along with my thanks of being able to detach and love them anyway.

Thanks for listening.
Jen