The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi, I'm new to the group. I'm not sure if this is what you're supposed to write, but my older brother is an alcoholic and drug user. He has struggled for 14 years now, so I have 14 years of heartbreaking stories and frustrations, but right now I'd really like to talk about his current situation. He's been to rehab before, but seems to need it more than ever right now. He's finally gotten state insurance which gives him a few rehab centers in our state, but there are waiting lists. I don't live in the same city as him, and haven't lived with him for a few years, but my heart is still so broken for him and his family, my parents and the rest of my family. It's been so long since I've had a sober brother, and I'm not even sure what it would be like, but I want it so badly.
My brother is very smart. He knows what we want to hear, knows what he needs to do, and we've been down every road. He feels badly about himself, etc. But, all my family wants to see is him in rehab. And the days or weeks of waiting that we'll have to do to see him in a center is, quite frankly hellish. It feels like there's so much on the line right now, we all have to do the right thing to make sure he walks through those doors. After that, it's up to him, the counselors, and God. Is there anything I can do?
Also, can anyone explain Al-Anon from an attenders point of view? I'm considering going, but I'd like to know more.
Thank you all very much. Just writing this is theraputic.
The best way to support your brother is to find a meeting for yourself .learn all u can about alcoholism the disease , and if bro wants help all he has to do is walk into an AA meeting and he will find all the help he needs til abed opens up for him. In our program we talk about ourselves and how we feel , how the actions of another person has affected our lives and learn how to not let thier disease run our lives too. good luck on finding a meeting and i hope your brother makes it to rehab .
Hi (((sadsib))) To find out what an al-anon Face to Face meeting is like, try checking out the on-line meetings offered on this site. They will give you a good idea of the basic structure of a 'real' meeting. Try going to several different meetings in your area, if possible, to find the one that fits you best. Sending many positive thoughts your way. Hope all works out well for your brother in rehab, and that you find the support and comfort that YOU need.
love from Denise ____________________
"The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time."
__________________
"The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time."
Welcome to MIP! You have come to the right place. Remember that you didn't cause it, can't cure it, and can't control it. In Alanon you will gain tools to help you in your recovery program. It is a little intimidating but you might find that you have come home. You don't have to share right off. You can just listen.Grab some literature and learn all you can about alcoholism.
Totally feel your pain. My brother was a herion addict from the earliest I could remember. He is alot older than me. He found recovery around 13 yrs ago but is dying from his disease anyway with HepC. he is in his last stages of liver failure now. I know how badly you want your brother to recover. He has to want it for himself As Abby said all he has to do is walk into an AA or NA meeting anytime and he will find the support and tools he needs for recovery. I grew up surrounded by alcholics and addicts we moved our children away early as not to expose them to the chaos that goes with all of that. And we were sure we were the ones to "break the cycle". Unfortuatly although we thought we did all the right things our son is an addict. It never occured to us that we needed help to. While my husband and I are not alcholics or addicts we sure carried the characteristics and unfortunatly passed them along with our unproductive coping skills to our children UGH! Alanon is for you, your recovery please give it a chance. It will save your sanity. Please join us even for our online meetings, you will hear your story although it maybe a different version, you will hear that all of us share many of the same feelings you have and how we have used the program to restore sanity back into our lives and new and healthy coping skills to deal with this disease. Blessings to you
Glad to see that your reaching out, the program of Alanon is about you and your pain and your road of recovery. Having an addict for a brother cannot be easy. Your taking the first step because not only is your brothers life out of control, but we become sick along with the addict.
I dont have a brother thats an addict, but I was married to an alcoholic for many years. My one wish in life was for him to be sober and for us to have a happy life. I was so concentrated on him going to rehab because I thought it would solve my problem in dealing with the A. I put all my energy in thinking if only he would go to rehab he would certainly stop. 5 rehabs later I realized that this is a serious disease and is not arrested that easily. Until the addict wants to stop, they will continue down the path of insanity and perhaps even death. This is a hard fact to face. But face it we must.
What we can do is help ourselves and become strong about having our boundaries of what we will accept from the addict and what we wont accept. Because one thing for certain, they will try and drag you down with them. First Step: " We are powerless over the addiction and our lives have become unmanageable." The outcome of what happens to the addict is out of our hands. We can love them, help them, cry for them, but we cannot control their addiction.
Please keep coming back to MIP and find a way to live without being devastated by this horrible disease. Alanon is the right medicine for our lives.
Wishing you courage, strength and wisdom, Luv, Bettina
