The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It's been a difficult time having left my ABF & our apartment (with only a suitcase) & now being 600 miles away. I have lost my job because of the chaos surrounding the alcohol consumption.
Moving forward: I am going to my first face to face meeting tomorrow and I am actually looking forward to it. I do think it will help. At least it will get me into clothes other than my pjs and out of the house. I think it will be a positive step for me.
Earlier this evening, I told my A that I felt like I was in his way and that I will let him go if he needs me to. He responded by saying that when I come back he wants control of the A/C at night since I sleep with 5 blankets anyway! ?&*%? Eeeaasch.
There is a tug-of-war in my head right now and it is hurting my brain.
Isn't it amazing the way an active A's mind works?? My wise old sponsor told me - long ago - to "stop trying to make sense out of nonsense"....
Later on, he also told me, when dealing with my (then active) AW to "see her with a large SSS stamped on her forehead, that stands for Sick, Sick, Sick!"
Good for you in getting out to the meeting.... The only really positive thing you can do right now is to choose recovery for yourself....
Take care Tom
__________________
"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
Thanks Tom...and you're right...it IS nonsense and he can take anything I say and twist it around. I can see that his sickness has been taking me down with it and I feel like the meeting tomorrow is going to be a good dose of much needed medicine for me.
I found face to face meetings a godsend. It gave me hope to see people in similar situations to mine, actually happy. I want what they're having! I've been attending face to face regularly now for several years, and I feel so much better than when I first darkened the doorstep
Going to meetings also helped me understand the things I could change were all about me. It got me focusing on myself instead of what my AH needed to do. That helped both of us.
Aloha Nalina...I'll bet you can even go to the meeting in your PJs and no one will even notice or if they do refuse to make a comment. LOL No I've never tried it but I know a couple gals who have done it and that's how it worked. Just go and get well. ((((hugs))))
I am glad you are going to your first f2f meeting. It's time for you to start taking care of yourself first. Put the focus on yourself instead of the alcoholic.....it's a lot more fun.
Oh, the games they can play. He is 600 miles away ....you make a statement about letting go....and he tells you when you get back he will be in control of the A/C.
Ask an alcoholic what time it is.....and they will tell you how to build and clock.
As sad as this disease is....sometimes things they say and do make you smile. But, insanity breeds insanity....which is the reason we need our program. Without our program we become as sick or sicker than the alcoholic in our life.
Enjoy your meeting....stay around after the meeting and get a little extra ES&H from some of the "Old Timers" in the program. They love to give it away....their way of giving back to others what the program has given them.
HUGS, RLC
-- Edited by RLC on Thursday 8th of July 2010 11:34:28 PM
My A and I went back & forth with it this morning (via text) about whether or not HE was going to ALLOW me back into OUR apartment. So.... I told him that I did not ask him yesterday whether I could come back to OUR apartment or not.....What I asked was if I should let him go.
His reply to that was: FINE, YOU CAN COME BACK THIS WEEKEND!
I do not know how to build a clock. What I had to "unlearn" from the program was not to ask my alcoholic what time it is. When applied......that took a lot of junk and clutter out of my life. What I learned was to focus on myself (look at my own clock when I needed the time.) Besides, I found my clock was much more accurate anyway!!
Ask an alcoholic what time it is.....and they will tell you how to build and clock.
Oh that's GOOD. LOL.
I've had many a bizarre conversation with my AH myself - things that would leave my scratching my head and wondering what on earth was going on in his mind.
Nalina - so glad to hear you're going to get to some f2f meetings! They are SO soothing and wonderful.
