The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was talking with my husband and he told me he is so jealous and insecure it is consuming him. He wants us to go to counseling for this. (could this open up the no talk rule about his choices?? Probably not, but who knows what my HP has planned)This is a recent development. It maybe due to my detachment. He travels for work and I don't call as obsessively as I used to. I don't pry into what he is doing. I get on with my life and got to meetings and read my books. I go to work. I go to coffee. I go to sleep.
I told him I was going to alanon,he said that was good because he likes to smoke pot and drink beer. Yes I am still angry and so much muddled mess in my head sometimes. I can't sort things out. Thank goodness I don't have to right now. I don't know what I will do if I get the apartment I applied for but I will decide that when the time comes. I will trust my HP will let me know and direct my actions based on his will. Sometimes I want to stay because I am going to school in the fall and financially it will be easier. I might actually get to sleep because I won't have to work so much. I don't have the answers today. I am ok with the way I feel. I just keep trying to do what is put in front of me. This is tough ,loving someone and knowing that this disease will continue to get uglier.
I have tried to leave so so many times, mainly fear kept me there, I also used to think of everything and it hurt my head so much so, it was easier to shut up and put up until it wasn't.
I am right at the wasn't stage now, we don't arrive at this stage for nothing something very serious has happened to bring us here, I am starting to practice simply doing nothing and the magic of that to my amazement is less is more, your doing great, keep all your options open nothing is set in stone.
That's how it works Miss Carol...how it works best. Focus on your own life and get on with it and move away from users and drinkers who are there but not.
Alcoholics are amazing people arent they ,it always blew my mind that somehow my husb knew that i had made a decission * didnt matter what the issue was * and he would change his attitude . detachment is fantastic and works wonders for me .. I pay little attention to what people say I watch what they do .. let it play out the way its supposed to , carry on taking care of yourself and regardless ofwhat he does you will be okay
Really glad he is supportive of you going to Al-Anon.... From personal experience, I can't say I'd hold out too much hope for the counselling - marriage/couples counselling, while the A is still active, is not always a positive event....
Take care Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
