Where do I start!!!!! - Al-Anon Family Group

petpal · Member

Where do I start!!!!!

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Dear Petpal

Welcome to MIP and Alanon

You are not alone and what you shared sounds very familar to how I behaved before I walked thru the doors of alanon and found new tools to live my life.

Alanon believes that alcoholism is a disease. You did not cause , cannot control it, and cannot cure it. The only answer is to learn how to take care of you so your life can be lived with courage and dignity.

It is important to break the isolation. Face to Face meetings are held in every community. Al-Anon is for friends and relatives of Alcoholics. If you have been affected by someone elses drinking then Al-Anon is for you!

By going to the following link:

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html

And placing your cursor over about us in the upper left of the screen, 3 more pull downs open. One of these is information for the newcomer, and the second is Al-Anon for you; both have good information.

We also have on line meetings here 2 xs a day and a chat room open 24/7

Please keep coming back

Andrea12 · ~*Service Worker*~

(((((((((((((((((Welcome)))))))))))))))))))))),<hugs

You are not alone...you have found the perfect place where you will not be judged but understoon. We have all been there and totally relate. Please once again remember you are not alone.

If you can make a face to face alanon meeting in your area great if not this is the place to regain your sanity and your dignity.

Please keep coming back the meetings here are great and the wisdom and experience is beyond anything I can begin to explain.

Keep coming back....keep sharing and in time you will feel better about you and you will learn that his illness is his and you have to recover for you and you alone.

With Hope,
Andrea

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Aloha Pet...Welcome to MIP...You have just started by reaching out and Hotrod gave
you one of the first keys to freedom...The 3c's and she and Andrea pointed you to
the face to face meetings of Al-Anon and the daily meetings here. Stuff to do
already huh? Keep coming back...Wow!! This is the stuff that also saved my
life and brain and spirit as I followed up on them. You gotta follow up on them
whether your alcoholic is still drinking or not.

It's amazing don't you think that he drinks and falls down and you feel like the fool
for him or instead of him. Let him be responsible for those feelings and come meet
some of us in the meeting rooms of Al-Anon. More later as you keep coming back.

(((((hugs))))) smile

maresie · ~*Service Worker*~

I am so glad you are here. I can definitely identify with your frustratin, confusion and apprehension. Alcoholism is a very baffling disease. You are no longer alone. There is a great chat room here on this site as well as meetings twice a day. I do hope you will give this place a shot. I have found it to be a very definite life line when I am at my wits end.

Maresie.

lyndebi · ~*Service Worker*~

I loved my exAH all my life. As we all got older, friends looked at him different. A loser, drinking using drugs,wrecking beautiful cars. But I was always "in love" not seeing the symptoms.

He drank, did drugs, so did most everyone in the 50's and 60's. I liked being around everyong even though I never used.I was so afraid of having unhealthy kids so it kept me very clean. Plus I hate the taste of alcohol. ick.

Anyway I did notice people looked at him different as the years past. I made him go away. We had a son before that.

Then after the kids were grown he came back sober on program, me? I was oblivious to what addiction was.

We married, he had years of program. We flourished in our relationship, bought a home, he had a very good remodel contractor business. He played guitar, sang to me, we were very close.

Then the brain tumor surgery killed the man I knew and a monster emerged.

It took me years to see what everyone else did. I can relate to how you feel.For me though it was what made me unable to see what everyone else did?

My mother told me many many moons ago we are not responsible for what anyone else does nor are we judged by what they do.

Do you see what I mean? You are not your A's disease. You in no way can make him use,even if you duct tape him down,duct tape his mouth open and put in a funnel.

What ever they do is on them, on their addiction disease.

They like to call us crazy. Don't believe it, very not true. Amost all A's say that to their sig other.

They don't want to be in this insanity alone, the disease sucks us up and pulls us all into a pit.

BUT here you are stepping into the unknown! That is courageous! The truths you learn are going to help you so much! In many ways it will help the A's around you too.

Your husband is not failing. Far from it. He has a horrible disease he is doing his best to fight. Most all A's go to detox and rehab innumerable times in their lifetime.
They will always have the disease of addiction. It is part of him, in his dna!

When you learn the truths of addiction, see that we all experience about the same things, you will know it is nothing he nor you did.

I learned a long time,being a teacher, failing only means we have more to learn, and or it means I need to teach differently.

To A's their drugs are like water to us. How hard would it be for you to stop drinking water and believe you will be better?

Keep coming back, you were a winner the first time you stepped into Al Anon.

love,debilyn

White Rabbit · ~*Service Worker*~

Is it "normal" that someone else drinks and gets stupid and then I end up looking like a fool? I don't know about "normal." That's EXACTLY what my life before the program was like, though! I would hold in the anger as long as I could until it came out in a big tornado, and then I'd scream and cry and yell and be completely irrational. NOT my finest moments. The good thing is, I haven't had a meltdown like that in quite some time.

I'm so glad you're here! Alcoholism is a family disease. Before I came here, I did not understand that as my husband began to drink more and more, I became sicker and sicker. It's funny - I was sick and I wasn't the one pouring chemicals down my throat.

Since I've began to work my own recovery, I've done better to not become immersed in the insanity. Is it perfect? No, but I keep practicing because I don't ever want to go back.

Keep coming back, keep posting, keep talking - you are in the right place!! Welcome!!

maresie · ~*Service Worker*~

Get a copy of the book Getting them Sober. I cannot recommend this book enough. I hope you choose to embrace al anon. There is an excellent chat room and meetings here twice a day. Give al anon a chance and see how you feel with new tools. You will always find support, encouragement and understanding here.

maresie.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.