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Tonight we got a phonecall saying our son was passed out in the pickup outside his gate. We rushed up. Someone had pulled his truck inside the yard. It was dark and he was lying on the ground down next to the fence by the gate -he was passed out cold. My husband said get the pickup keys and leave him there to sober up. He has no close neighbors. We are keeping the keys until after he gets back from rehab. I don't know when a bed will open. My husband gets up early to go to work- so we had a 30-min drive home. I felt bad bout leaving him there. It is a remote mountain area- but the county deputies do patrol it once in a blue moon. It a wonder they didnt come by and ticket him in the truck. I'm bout to my witts end. Please tell me what you think-----OK
That is a very difficult one..... I truly don't think there is any crystal clear "right or wrong" in these situations, but for what it's worth - I DO believe that your actions are allowing your A-son to reap the consequences of his behavior..... You didn't put him in that situation, you simply took away his keys so he can't harm himself or others.... I have heard dozens of reformed addicts/alcoholics say that they never really chose sobriety until all of their "soft landings" were taken away....
I say ((((hugs)))) and way to go....
Take care Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
That must have been difficult for you and your husband . (hugs) Detach with love is hard and completley baffled me until I heard a woman say that to her it meant , if her husb passed out on the lawn to leave him there but to love him enough to turn offf the automatic sprinkler . until the alcoholic is made responsible for choices he makes absolutley nothing will change . I hope he wakes up and gives his head a shake . Louise
You saw he was safe, and removed his keys, there was nothing more you could do. I know how tough it is to walk away Okwitt, but we dont do them any favours by easing their suffering.... We had a phonecall one night from a recovering A who had come across our son passed out on the pavement (sidewalk).....he put his coat over him and left him to sleep it off. ....we knew where he was, that he was safe enough and he re-appeared the next day, showered and went back out for anothers day drinking
Fear kept me running and rescuing and he fed of it.....something had to change......
Hope a rehab bed becomes available for your son soon.
I've figured out that detaching is one of the most difficult things to do. Detach with love is even harder. I say "way to go". You detached with love. I'm sure it was one of the hardest things that you have ever done, leaving him there "passed out cold." I hope and pray that if that situation surfaces for me again, I will have the will and wisdom that you showed towards your son. Peace to youl.
Okwit, I am so proud of you for having the strength to do what you needed to do. It is hard when it's our kids, after all we have been taught from day 1 that we are to take care of our children. The problem with that is nobody has ever told us when we can stop, but our stopping is the only thing we can do to help them and ourselves.
Barb
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Everything I have ever let go of has claw marks all over it.
until the alcoholic is made responsible for choices he makes absolutley nothing will change . I hope he wakes up and gives his head a shake . Louise
