New Here - Al-Anon Family Group

CatherineR · Newbie

New Here

Bettina · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome Catherine,

Youve come to the right place. Nobody can tell you what you should do in this situation.

See if there is a face to face alanon meeting in the area and attend. It will be the best thing you ever will do yourself and your son.

Sounds like your son has a serious drinking problem. Alanon will help you to make the right decisions for you along with solutions for your life. Your son of course should be in a program for addiction. Has he been to AA?

Im wishing you courage, strength and hope. Keep coming back. Ive never had a son with an addiction problem, had a husband. There are many members on the board that have been in your situation, they will share their experience with you, for sure.

Luv, Bettina

CatherineR · Newbie

He has not been to AA, he doesn't think he has a problem, he thinks "everybody does it". I am nervous to go to a meeting in person because we live in a pretty small town so there won't be much anonimity.

Jennifer · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome Catherine,

I can certainly understand your concerns over attending face to face meetings. The nice thing about meetings is everyone is there for the same reason I am and it does not have to mean that I am judging someone to be an alcoholic or addict only that someone's drinking is affecting my life. Valuable experience from others and tools to take care of ourselves are available to help in making choices such as the one you are thinking about. I'n glad you found MIP and hope you keep coming back!

Jen

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome Catherine

I believe you have been given some very positive suggestions by the other shares. I would like to add that if you have a difficult time attending face to face meetings we have on-line meetings here 2xs a day and a 24/7 hour chat where you are able to break the isolation caused by this disease and you will be able to learn some new tools to deal with this dreadful disease.

When you are ready you can explore meetings and additional information about this disease by:

By going to the following link:

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html

And placing your cursor over about US in the upper left of the screen, 3 more pull downs open. One of these is information for the newcomer, and the second is Al-Anon for you; both have good information.

Another good place on the Internet to find out about Al-Anon on the Internet is at Online Al-Anon Outreach at:

http://www.ola-is.org/

Please keep coming back There is help and hope

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

Aloha Catherine...just wanted to extend my welcome also. The suggestions you got
are what worked for me and for that I am forever grateful. I was too sick to worry
about anonimity so I went in spite of not knowing what it was...LOL. It has never
been an issue from day one thank HP. I have met friends who wandered into the
meetings I was attending and they were glad there was a friend there to hug them in.

Keep coming back here (((((hugs))))) smile

abbyal · ~*Service Worker*~

Hello and welcome , don't worry about the anonymity small town big city ,it works ..and yu would be suprised to find out how many people know what he's been up too. we and the alcoholic are usually the last ones to know you need support from people who understand and can help u by sharring thier own recovery with you. If we continue to enable nothing will ever change ll Louise

david62 · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome Catherine,

I don't have much to add to the wonderful words already given to you, except to say I attend Al-Anon meetings in two "small towns" and have not had any negative results from that. Nothing but good has ever come from Al-Anon meetings for me.

Glad you found us,

David

CatherineR · Newbie

Thank you all for your welcome and support and suggestions. I will make sure I get to a meeting, I came here for advice from people who have been there, so I had better take it now that you all have given it so generously!

Thanks again and I will check back after I get to a meeting.

maresie · ~*Service Worker*~

In Al anon we have a saying, mean what you say and don't say it mean. Getting boundaries has been a really long road for me. I was such a push over most of my life, afraid of setting them. Now I do set them and I anticipate having to set them.

I'm gladyou are here. Al anon can help you tremendously.

Maresie.

Ness · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Catherine.......just want to add my welcome.

((((((((((hugs))))))))))) Ness

Mynameismom · Veteran Member

I am new as well. Actually today. I hope you find some answers. It is so complex. No one can be expected to know what to do. Just reach out and they will come. I have already received so many positive and helpful suggestions.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.