The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My son is still waiting on bedspace becoming available in the detox unit. Yes, due to cutbacks, there are only so many beds in one unit to cover a radius of around 200 miles where alcoholism is probably the major disease. Anyway I am powerless over that, he is top of the list and hopefully next week.
All is quiet at home. He is in a pretty precarious state healthwise, hes not saying much, taking the recommended alcohol units per day....we had to up them slightly as he had a bit of a turn and wandered off and walked to our old home( in the same village) and asked to go to his bed. He's not pushing any boundaries. For the first time ever I am not hearing I can control this..... in fact all quacking has ceased. Hes managing to eat a little bit more day by day and even offered to make dinner tonight but between his tremors and his memory lapses I havent the energy to clean the mess that would have ensued in the kitchen, and he might have forgotten half way through what he was doing and gone to bed......scarey thing this disease.
The miracles of the Al-anon programme are working in me and in our home, our environment is calm.....just for today......I do find I am tiring more easily, the stresses are still there, but Ive been curling up in bed in the afternoon for an hour and dozing. Husb was v.stressed to begin with, blood pressure went sky high but he too now is benefiting from the peace. Boundaries and emotional detachment from the disease are working, minute at a time.
Now can anyone tell me the Al-anon way to get a 33 yr old to take a bath. ( another reason for not allowing him to cook dinner) or should I just do what I would have done when my world was normal and scream like all Mothers........just get in the bloody bath!!
HI Ness I am holding you and your son in my daily prayers I understand the problem with the shower and honestly I did discuss this openly with my son. He stressed how frightened he was of "Falling" in the shower and that was the reason so few showers were attempted. I could understand that fear as he was very unsteady so I went to a medical supply store and purchased large moist wash and dry cloths for him and left him to his own devices It did help.
He is, as you said with your son Betty, unable to shower as he is so unsteady, he told me he fell and hurt his shoulder in an attempt to get himself clean before he came home. I understand his fear. He knows to leave the door open if he has a bath so we can talk to him to check hes ok....his father is willing to help him if asked, he has asked him to shave him before but its difficult situation for both parties. It will evolve......I need to practice patience and buy more wipes!
Nmike......today he wants that bed in the detox unit so he is willing and listening because he knows if he goes off on one it will go to someone else, but I know how cunning baffling and powerful this disease is and how it can all change on a pin. If it does I too let it go, its all we can do for our own sanity.
Wow...this disease is so incideous. I will keep your son and your family in my prayers. I think sometimes I am in denial about how bad it can really get.
I am so sorry you are going through this with a child.
Your post was dejavue for me this morning , Take a bath , when my husb was in the final stages of active alcohlism he just didnt care he lost all respect for himself and of course never thought of others .. I finally had to find a way to ask my husb politley to take a shower , I know it hurt him to hear that but it truly was unbearable .. my thoughts are with you today and I hope your son gets to treatment soon .. Louise
Sounds like you are staying strong, but taking care of yourself by taking a time to lay down and rest, good for you.
I think of you everyday because my son is close to the same age as yours (he turned 30 Saturday). I wish your family the very best, you all are in my prayers, and may that bed become available soon.
