The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today I got a phone call from my XAH, he can hardly speak and he is in pain, so I called the paramedics, they had to break down the door because he was too weak to unlock it.
They took him to the ER and he is in ICU in critical condition, his blood count was dangerously low, and he has internal bleeding. He drank a 1/2 a beer last nite to celebrate the opening of the World Cup, a mistake Im sure he is regretting.
I went to the hospital as i didnt know what was wrong with him and he has no other family in this country, besides they wouldnt be there for him anyway. I gave my number to the nurse, as there was no contact # in case. I told the Nurse I was his Xwife. She told me I was a good woman for coming and following up.
The XAH, has been in and out of every ER in this valley in the past. He has been sober for the past 6 months, but just this one action almost cost him his life. I am no longer with him but I pray that his story doesnt end here. Its cost him so many years to get there.
I know his HP will carry him thru as he has a mission to help others, I hope he will have that moment of realization that our lives are about reaching out and helping as many as we can.
Thank you for letting me share. Here's hoping for the recovery he deserves.
I know his HP will carry him thru as he has a mission to help others, I hope he will have that moment of realization that our lives are about reaching out and helping as many as we can.
Bettina, your xah is in a safe place where the medics are helping his physical problems and along with a strong AA programme of recovery in his head and heart Im sure his HP will guide him back to the recovery he deserves.
He asked for help and you were willing and able to give it......speaks a million for the strength of both the Al-anon and AA programmes.
Prayers on the way. The doctors and nurses know what to do. Hopefully when they get him stabilized they will be able to talk to him about long term treatment. It's okay to still have love & compassion for your ex even though you are not together anymore. I always said that I loved my husband not the disease.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
__________________
It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Thanks for all the prayers and good thoughts, looks like my XAH is doing better, they stopped the hemoraging and were able to see the source of the bleeding, he is still a very sick man. They performed a procedure on him this morning and had over 6 IV's going into his body.
Will he know how fortunate he is to have survived, Is living a priority? Will he be able to fufill his mission? To help other A's, to tell his story. This is not the first time he has come close to death. He had a major heart attack 6 years ago and almost didnt make it. He is only 56 years old.
The nurse told me his alcohol blood level was 4 times the normal level. Wouldnt you say thats a death wish! I have asked him many times , do you want to die? He always says no. So, that speaks volumes about this disease.
For all of the spouses that want to have normal responses, and emotional support from their partners, the A is incapable. The priority is getting them sober, if the goal is to return them to sanity, if everything can remain in balance. The moment you are giving more then you can or it becomes an austerity, you must consider alternatives too living. I believe the A, whether in dire straits like the X or going along with their daily drinking, is always fighting for their lives. They will never admit it.
If they are fighting for their lives, where does that put us partners. The A always presents an illusion of what they are doing and that they are fine. When there life is falling apart. Unless we really perceive what the disease is capable of and we are not living in our delusions, we can set about to live our lives in a more positive and manageable way.
If felt good too not feel all drained and emotional because of what he was going thru, I felt bad and was concerned, but I can choose to not take on his suffering.
Thanks Again, I liked what Karilynn had to say at the end. LIVE STRONG!
-- Edited by Bettina on Monday 14th of June 2010 05:13:16 PM
