The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I called to let him know I have his birthday cake ready, the voice on the other end of the line with it's slurred speech, and biting remarks let me know how he plans to celebrate today.
I should know better than to get my hopes up, but you still catch yourself wishing.
My birthday wish for your son is this is the last birthday he has to spend in denial of his disease. I wish for you comfort and peace knowing you can celebrate his potential...does that make sence? We celebrate my dead husbands birthday.. he isnt here but we have cake and remember nice things about him on that day. He was an A/A and while he had 15 yrs clean technically he was on prescribed pain meds when he passed and was beginning to abuse them. I don't want the kids to remember only that about him, I want them to have fond memories hence the happy celebration even though he cannot attend. I do not know if I am conveying what I am trying to..... find something about him to celebrate and cut that cake!!!
hugs and healing, donna/adonaisgirl
-- Edited by adonaisgirl on Saturday 12th of June 2010 06:05:18 PM
__________________
One Day at a Time I am POWERLESS but not HOPELESS Be sure to BREATHE and SMILE!!!
I'm sorry Dreams that this disease has taken the pleasure of celebrating your son's birthday together. I hope the future brings far different celebrations for the both of you. You and yours are in my prayers.
Hi Dreams......boy did your post take me back 3 years.I remember my sons 30th birthday well. Hed been dry for around 5 months. I decided not to make anything of the day other than have a family dinner. His sister decided he should have a marvellous cake which she spent a lot of time deciding on and eventually had one made with a beautiful photo of him on it of when he was around 3, sitting in the favourite red car he was obsessed with for yrs (family joke) She also decided he needed a cat (hes cat mad)......be the perfect companion for him she said. We kept this damn cat hidden all day and at dinner time in staggered said son, completely incoherent with drink and this beautiful cake couldnt even be viewed through his alcoholic haze. The cat took one look at him and fled....
We were all crushed......I got left with the cat who is currently scowling round the house because son is in the building saying, that cat doesnt like me! Theyre not daft these cats are they.
I know none of us could eat any cake on the day and Im sure you didnt feel much like it either. I look at the photo I took on the day and it makes me feel sick. Its all expectations then disappointments at times.....definately need this Alanon programme or Im nuts!
There should be a pet Al-anon.....they are affected too!
Oh Dreamsover....... after reading the other responses I realize I did not convey the sympathy/empathy I feel for you. I did not mean to make it sound like you should have a party without him and not feel your feelings.... I was trying to help find a place of good thoughts ... a way out of the sadness... forgive me if I sounded callous. I have a hard time putting thoughts correctly because my mind goes so fast my fingers miss half the point. That is the grace of this program .. the ability to find the peace and joy and happiness in unhappy situations.
hugs and healing, donna/adonaisgirl
__________________
One Day at a Time I am POWERLESS but not HOPELESS Be sure to BREATHE and SMILE!!!
