The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My husband has been sober for 24 years. However, due to a recent back injury a few years ago he became addicted to pain medication. Addiction is addiction regardless of the drug. The same ugly cycle started all over again, the lies, the bills not being paid, him not working, the irresponsibility. He went into rehab and things never really got better. He swore up and down he was no longer taking the pain medication. There was a noticeable difference in his personality for the better. In Feb of this past year he fell and broke his wrist. The pain medication started again. I told him he had to leave. He is now taking a minimal amount of pain medication. I can tell that he is practically back to his old "sober" self. However, the mess that he created financially has my head spinning. He is promising that he will do whatever it takes to keep our marriage together. He recently acquired a job and has made an effort to pay some of the bills.
We live in a two family house that I co-own with my sister. My sister has been affected by this financially and thinks I am crazy if I take him back. My other sisters agree. I am so confused becasue I do know that the long stretch of sobriety that he had was favorable. He is trying to assure me that we can work everything out together. I have a decent job but I don't think I can handle all of the bills by myself. I am so torn. We have a 23 year old son who lives with us. He is awesome and is close to both of us. He doesn't really get overly involved.
I do love him but I do not love the life that we have had recently. He is going to meetings and is very familiar with AA. Part of me believes what he says but the other part of me doesn't want to make the wrong decision. I do believe in second chances but I KNOW that they have to be earned.
I definately have a real issue in worrying about what everyone (my sisters, etc.) thinks. I know they mean well but they have has "bumps" in their marriages as well.
I am just very confused. I know that I have to have full control over the money which I have made very clear to him.
Aloha Alee...Yep he and you are struggling with addiction. It's good that he is making another attempt at keeping himself sane and alive.
If you are not attending open Al-Anon meetings I would highly suggest it and take along your sisters for a while also as we understand that the disease affects everyone it comes in contact with. Locally we have had members of families come into our groups and start to work the program together and find sincere understanding and hope.
The support is all there and the miracle of common language and awareness with the AA member. I highly suggest that you do.
