The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today I bought myself new dishes. Last time I bought new dishes was to give myself a boost of pretty cupboards after one of my xAH's relapses. I know it was an odd thing to do but as we all know, you do what you need to. Anyway today I noticed that as much as I like my dishes every time I use them that nagging little thought is in the back of my head.
The old dishes are green, and green is a healing color to me. So I understand why I picked them back then. My new dishes are clear. I'm not quite sure what that says about where my head is today but I liked the idea of seeing the food for what it is, top and bottom. I am actually really curious to see what the bottom of a plate of food looks like for some reason. The thought crossed my mind too, that with my vision impairment I may not really see the clear plates and I can feel like a barbarian eating right off the table, I may even try banging my utensils and fists just to enhance the experience. And I will be thinking about what a nice treat getting new dishes is for passing my classes with As and Bs and not being too much of a whiner about losing my appendix
I'm grateful that I can like my old dishes and donate them. I have no urge to wreck them or throw them away. It's just that their moment in my life has passed. I'm thinking that may be a good way to try and look at some other situations in my life. A nice reminder when I get busy with school, work, life and everything is a little overwhelming tha sometimes it can be as simple as I am just ready for new dishes and ready to let go of the old ones.
As I was reading your post a song by Jimmy Cliff from a "few" years ago came to mind. "I can see clearly now"---the rain is gone---it's going to be a bright, bright sunshinin' day". It's a great feel good song. So I went to You Tube and listened to it. But while I was listening to it I knew I had to come back and reply to your post---Maybe you need to change the title to---"I can see clearly now the GREEN is gone". I couldn't help but think of the double meaning for you.
Anyway, I hope you have a bright, bright sunshinin' day tomorrow !!!
HUGS, RLC
-- Edited by RLC on Saturday 22nd of May 2010 01:21:22 AM
I'm grateful that I can like my old dishes and donate them. I have no urge to wreck them or throw them away. It's just that their moment in my life has passed. I'm thinking that may be a good way to try and look at some other situations in my life. Jen
Dear Jen
Such a powerful share!!! No need to destroy the "Green" dishes simply give them away !!!Someone else who can use them and enjoy them and it is OK.
What great growth, insight and powerful actions
Thanks for being here and sharing your journey
-- Edited by hotrod on Saturday 22nd of May 2010 10:23:10 AM
Egads, I meant to reply long ago and got distracted. Sorry
Deb, When I got divorced I removed my biological father's name and my x's name. My bio family had disowned me when my bio dad passed away when i was 2, and like you my x's name felt wrong. Nobody in his family would speak to me and to be honest I did not want to be associated witha name with illegal activities, so much addiction and people who blamed me. It felt good to finally honor my stepdad by taking his name. This is who I am and who i want to be
Mandy, I banged away. And felt like I should have been wearing a viking helmet or something LOL
RLC, I like that song. Once you mentioned it I had to go listen too and sang along with your lyric changes!
Hotrod and wp, thank you both for pointing out growth to me. I know it is there but sometimes having someone else notice revs up some motivation and gratitude. Thank you.
hi Jennifer i like the bit about being a barbarian and banging the utensils on the table hahah!!! Yes I do that to make people at work laugh, i work in a locked dementia ward in an aged care facility and while they are seated around the table waiting for the next meal to come I will sometimes get the knife and fork and bang them on the ends chanting" we want food we want food" , this usualy brings lots of laughter to the table .!! In my own life currently i only own 3 dinner plates ! these were a gift years ago from my daughter who was tryng to give me something special and show me that she cared for me she picked the willow pattern as she knew i like it .Sinse then i have droped them and broken some by accident and chipped them in my haste etc. so presently i never get all that much washing up haha. Over the years i have moved many many times had so many changes it is hard to count had so much drama and hardships etc. That i got to the point that i didn't care about things like dinner plates. The 3 that i have left are actualy matching !! hahaha As a child growing up in the family home the many plates we had never matched-- there were no dinner sets of natching plates As we had 12 people liveing under that roof !!it was crazy somethimes fun, somethimes horrifing when the acholic (my dad) was threatening to kill everyone while drunk. And sometimes absolutly wild with that many kids running around in an undisiplined environment like that !!Recently i had said to my hubby that i will buy some more dinner plates in my days off, today i was going to buy a new set of dinner plates while out at the shops!! So i was very supprised to see your post about dinner plates!!!I'll let you know what pattern or colour i choose and what i think it represents to me hahah One thing i do know is that it represents change for the better thanks for the insight into your dinner set thoughts Jennifer
I like the idea of you being able to make people laugh with the utensil banging! I have to admit it felt pretty darn good to do it, although I had only my moostiff (dog) to look at me strangely. I am not sure if he thought he should run and I was mad or stay because food might fly off the table if I got more excited
The willow is one of my favorite things in the world, I had a willow tree as a child I hid under to get away from my family and to imagine under. I would have held unto those dishes down to the last one or three too. Especially since they were a gift of love. New dishes are great I eat more and better now which is good, that is one of those self care things I tend to neglect sometimes. But aside from some special things of mine I don't have a large attachment to alot of stuff either. Somehow after learning to live with loss of my A, my home, and most of my belongings, the hold material things have over people doesn't really get to me. I used to have an antique business and to be honest getting me to buy something new is unusual. Give me the banged up, used and once well loved item anytime over the in the store new one LOL Anyway enough of my rambling, I'm glad to have posted something to support your decision to get some new dishes and I would love to hear what you ended up finding!
I'll let you know what pattern or colour i choose and what i think it represents to me hahah One thing i do know is that it represents change for the better 
thanks for the insight into your dinner set thoughts Jennifer