The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am just wondering if all the bad luck ever ends....my son was involved in a car accident today....he seems to be ok just a concussion and bruised....however, he only had his car for about a month and it is totaled.
I swear two steps forward and ten steps back.....my son has come such along way in the past few years... i am so very proud of him...it seems if it wasn't for bad luck he would not have any luck at all....
I am afraid he is following in my footsteps.....just plain bad luck....he just got a job my car is torn apart being fixed my daughter goes to college and works part time so her car is always being used.
Yesterday zach and i had big cry because his prom is on my anniversary and we know all the important moments his dad is missing......
Anyway just had to get this off of my chest May God please give us the serenity to get thru.....amen
I know the most important thing is he is alive.....but dear god give this kid a break he has been fighting since he was 15 to become the wonderful young man he is....so I pray God gives us the serenity to get thru one more thingl
In need of prayers, Andrea
-- Edited by Andrea12 on Thursday 29th of April 2010 06:49:59 PM
I'm sorry for your sons accident, but their is always something to be thankful for as you stated, he was not injured. Cars can be replaced, and luck will change, HP will even it all out for you.
I know this is from a mans viewpoint. I was married 18 years to my first wife. We divorced when our two children were 8 (son) and 12 (daughter). They both chose to live with me. I used to say that I worked all day at my business, and then came home----took off my pants------put on my panties-------and became Mr. Mom. I loved every minutes of it, wouldn't take a million dollars for the opportunity it gave me. Driving to Birmingham to let my daughter buy her first prom dress, taking her to get her drivers license at 16, sitting in the living room waiting for her first date to knock on the door, taking my son to Boy Scouts, watching him play T-Ball, Little League, and then H.S. sports. Later watching them both get their diploma from H.S. and then college, get their first job and move out on their own for the first time. I have thousands of memories of those years. My son lives in Fla. and calls me three or four times a week, my daughter is a true Daddy's Girl, manages a large rertail store, and calls her Daddy for business advice on a regular basic. In Al-Anon we don't give advice-----but Daddy's still give their Daughters advice when it is asked for. LOL
Why did I tell you all those things, because their Mother missed ever one of them. She wasn't there, she lived in another state. She made a choice and she missed seeing her children grow into adults.
Your husband is also missing those golden times that only come once. Like my XW that is a choice he makes. He has to live with his choices, good and bad. But you Andrea are there for your son, a good Mother who will always be by his side through thick and thin, and that's what is most important. That's your job, remember HP is there for any help and guidance you might need. If I could offer you any ES&H it would be to enjoy the time with your son, he will be gone sooner than you think, and don't spend any time or lose your senerity over someones elses poor choices.
Keep taking care of yourself first------that way you can always take care of your son.
HUGS, RLC
-- Edited by RLC on Thursday 29th of April 2010 10:39:09 PM
Wishing serenity for you and yours, Andrea. So sorry for the bad luck. And God grant you peace and the courage to change the things you can. Your program is strong like you :)
While the addiction took our husbands from this earth, we stand powerless over the fate of our children as well. We eventually lose direct control over their lives, their choices and we learn again that HP has them. Like your situation, my "boy" struggled through his teen years watching the disease take his father. I've watched him struggle to emerge as a man with more adversity thrown his way than I can imagine is too much for even a fully grown person to take. Despite it all, with a loving family and with the help of his HP, he pushes toward manhood anyway. Yet, bad stuff still happens to them. Oh how I wish I could stop it. But, yes we are powerless. I guess we just offer support on the other side as they grow through these experiences.
When my boy goes to his prom and graduation, he will be keeping something of his Dad's on his person. When he makes those milestones, I'll thank HP and let my hubby know that his son is a fine young man we can both be proud of.
The same happened to my son..three times!! The first car was totaled in 5 weeks. The second car was stolen and totaled. The 3rd was totalled in a wreck in a ice storm. All 3 cars gone within about 18 mo. It seemed ridiculous. He had the "why me?" thing going on and I told him he was getting all his bad luck out of the way at once (and jokingly told him his Karma sucked). We all got through it. Insurance helped, but you never get what you paid. I felt the sting in one of the totaled cars after putting a new transmission and brakes on it. Life went on and each time I reminded him that there are life lessons in all things. He has had his current car 2 yrs. We're going for a record..lol
Love ya girl, Christy
__________________
If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
I know it feels like you & the kids haven't had a break in the bad luck. But you have. The 3 of you have survived Chuck's passing. The empty heart will always be there as it is with me. But remember that he made it home to you before he left. Same way with my Tim. Look at the amazing young man your son has become. Look at what your daughter is doing. Look at your granddaughter. Neither of the kids have become addicts or are breaking the law. He hasn't turned into Big Ben either. Thank HP for that.
Yes there have been trials and roadblocks. But you have navigated your way through them w/grace and courage. I'm proud of you my friend. Remember Chuck is right there with you. He's looking down at you & the kids smiling - helping you to navigate all of this. He will be there w/your son at his prom and smiling. Tim will probably be next to him smiling too. These were amazing men we had in our lives, despite their addiction. I have no doubt they are still with us. Much love and blessings to you and your family.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
__________________
It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
I can give you my ESH. I neglected myself tremendously as a result of my own issues and the ex a's alcoholism and drug addiction,. i let so much go, my finances, my health, my work, friendships. By the time I got to al anon I felt totally paralyzed.
I've been in recovery a few years now and am feeling better. Boundaries took me a while to grasp.
I know I had the fantasy for a long time that I would bounce back I have not but every day gets much much better. My expectations are not so high I can't meet them. I am no longer filled to the brim with resentment.
The ex A chose addiction on so many levels, he was a veteran and there are excellent programs for them, he was in one for about a week. I'm realizing now so many lies that were really all about getting his drugs. That became the bottom line by the time I had to go.
I can't even imagine the tragedy of watching a long time husband die. I don't think we come back from that with a spring. I am no longer reminded of the ex a all the time but there are small things that can set me into grief. I've really had to adjust my expectations and live life on life's terms rather thna on what I think is owed to me.
