The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I just fought with myself for an hour on whether I should post this or not = / But.... I realize that I needed support especially from people that know what I'm talking about!
I miss my 5 days of having a "normal" family.... Basically my life was based on a weekend of binging from the A, a week of resentment and ill feelings for what the weekend brought, a week of promises and a feeling of weakness from giving in knowing this will happen again THEN I would FINALLY get my week of being normal having my family together and enjoying one another having a great weekend, etc.... Then comes him being agititated, bored and resentful of me which leads him to Friday going to the bar and binging..... the vicious cycle continues = (
Ugh... Right now I miss my 5 days!
Of course being a single mother again the kids occupy my time and I would be lying if I said I don't miss the help BUT (and a huge BUT) I'M stable I'M not stressing and I'M starting to have fun with my children again, just me and them = )
Thanks for letting me share = )
__________________
Courage is not a roar. Sometimes Courage is the small voice at the end of the day that says "I'll try again tomorrow"
Of course being a single mother again the kids occupy my time and I would be lying if I said I don't miss the help BUT (and a huge BUT) I'M stable I'M not stressing and I'M starting to have fun with my childrenagain, just me and them = )
Thanks for letting me share = )
(((Hopeless)))
It is only natural that you miss the patterns in your life that are familar to you.
I am extremely impressed by your above statement . It shows that you are starting to feel the benefit of this program and the changes you have implemented.
The I have found that by using the tools of alanon I have achieved awesome results. It is obvious and you are beginning to feel/see the benefits.
Just keep coming back, Focusing on Yourself, LIve a Day At A Time, Trust HP, Share and you will continue to grow and find your path.
I am a single mum too hopeless and it is a tough job. Something I see today is that while I was focusing on the A my children were going about their lives. I was unhappy and angrey a lot of the time. Today it is tough and I do miss my Abf we are still in miminal contact, but I am enjoying my kids again. Just little things sitting watching tv. They seem so much more relaxed. I really want to be the best mum I can, al anon is helping me with this. Today I am trying to put first things first me and my kids. keep coming back hugs
I just got updates from school on my 12 year old and in that last 3 weeks he has pulled his grades from one D to a B and has an A in Language Arts, an A in Math and a B in Social Studies.
I'm officially out of my funk = )
Thank you for your replies it really means a lot!
__________________
Courage is not a roar. Sometimes Courage is the small voice at the end of the day that says "I'll try again tomorrow"
I think your original post was full of honesty - it is so good to be able to say honestly what you're feeling. Good for you for coming here and sharing the way you did!
I'm glad you're feeling better - that's great news about your son!
Hang in there - life in recovery will be so much richer and fuller, but it takes some time. Be patient with yourself. :)
Wow!! You said what I have thought a million times...pretty much word for word!! Only his binges wouldn't last a weekend, they'd last a week, and then the 5 days could be a month or two...so I completely and totally understand exactly what your saying.... Thank you! I'm glad I read this....
