I 1st Want to say THANK YOU to all who responded & helped lift me from my Slump Last week, every day I got on here & seen another response, it was really an uplifting part of my day, and helped carry me thru, many tears, many memories of those past...
I DID Make a Meeting last night, and it was SOOOO nice... Seeing Understanding Faces, Love & Friendship what a blessing to have such a program...

The Funeral that I attended over the weekend, was in my Home Town, Not Far from were I live, but yet, seems like hours... Only because I don't go there but for what seems, funerals & weddings... But this Funeral brought me many things... One being Gratitude.. On the highest of levels...

IN going back to my home town, and being at a funeral for a man that lived there all his life up to 81... He knew Everyone, and everyone knew him...I seen people that I have not seen in 20-25 Years... But the ones that carried me thru were unbelievable Spirits, and the one that stick out the most, is a Man that I have known all my life, and he has Down Syndrome... His name is Scotty, and I have not seen him for AT Least 19-20 Years...

He was my Uncles Nieghbor and when I left My Home town, I was told that he went into a nursing home because his parents were older when they had him and just couldn't care for him, Every time he would see me as a child he would ATTACH me with Hugs, and tell me "I Love You... Your Beautiful... I Love you"

Well this boy that never got past the age of about 8-9 mentally, is now, close to 40 years old... And the Moment he seen me... He Belined, come flyin over... And had the most handsome Smile I have seen in a long time... he didn't think, "I" remembered him... I confirmed that I did, and he was Soooo Excited, He reaches in his pocket and hands me a Homemade Card typed with his address on it, and ask that I write him sometime...On the back he had printed his email... He could not refraim from attaching me with another one of those Hugs, and of Course... "I love you, Your Beautiful, I Love you"... The tears just rolled off my face, and he was concerned he hurt me... I had to explain that Him & God had just given me... What "I" Needed... That made him as happy as me.. ;)

Which was to see, the Miriacles of the world... Him being on that list... I was happy to find out that his older Sister took the responsibility of getting him out of the nursing home not long after he went in, and she has been taking care of him ever since, and he Adores the Ground she walks on...N She adores him for his strength, & of course his inability not to just Love openly...

As I watched, "My" Alcoholic family, be themselves, (Insanity at its Finest), Juding Each other, gossiping, forgetting "WHO" they were there for, worrying about thier next Drink, or who had nicer clothes, or who got fat, or who got into Drugs, and "THey" Thought that person was worthless... (Pot callin the kettle black)...When things got to were I was close to resorting back to the "ME" Before Al-Anon, The one that would Spue out the words that was on my mind, or the feeling that was in my heart, or the disappoint I want to Scream at ALL of them. "This Isn't about YOU.. It about Our Uncle"...

I would just look at Scotty, and My Faith would be restored, I truly believe that Scotty is an Angel on Earth, and the world needs More people like "Scotty"... That Loves with out limits, that smiles when he is happy, and cry's when he is sad... He doesn't have the mind to "Think" What is everyone thinking of me? How can I control This person or that one, He dont know what "Selfish" is, dones't know Hate, Dispare, or care what others may think...But yet, just opens his heart to Everyone, and if he sees you Sad, he is the 1st in line to say... "Hugs make it All Better, I love you, Your Beautiful..."

So my Gratitude came in a way from HP, In a way from my Uncle finally being at Peace, and From Scotty... That has Reassured me yet again, 20+ years later, that He loves me & I'm Beautiful... :) What a Blessing to know such a person, what a blessing to have touched his heart enough that he "Remembered ME" after all that ups and downs he has had to over come in his own struggles with his Illness... It Amazes me to know that people like Scotty get treated so poorly from socity when all he knows is love... He has more compassion then 90% of my Afamily for sure...

He was teasing me as I left the gathering after the services, he says to my Sister (Who he don't remember).. "You better Watch Her... She's Trouble"...lol... My sister who carries VERY Lt. Compassion, responds... "Yeah... I NO!" to Which Scotty taps her on the Arm and says... "She may be Trouble, but I Love her & She's Beautiful"... I cried, and laughted all at the same moment... My Sister, had nothing more to say...

Since that Moment, since I Left his Presents.. I have felt like, HP just jumped on in, and took over, my days have been brighter, even in the rain, my mood has been softened with gratitude, & understanding, not just of me, but of my Afamily.. I almost feel Sorry for them, that they don't have a program that can give them "THIS" ... A Program that allows me to grow on a daily basis, allows me to accept others for Who they are and were they are in their life Now, that allows me to Love again, Feel again, but mostly to grow... To Grow to a Better understanding of what "My HP" Wants for me, but now I know... HP has told me many times, this past weekend, thru greiving and being emotionally unavailible... That "He Loves Me, & I'm Beautiful"... What a Way to start a Rainy Monday...

Thank you HP, Thank you AL-Anon/ACOA, Thank you Scotty... For without ALL these things, I would be Less of a person... With out All of You! I may never know... How to live my Life, instead of the lives of others... I thank HP for all of you, for being here for me, and for lifting me up, when I can barely get up all the floor...

Love, Prayers & Gratitude to Each & Everyone of you... I hope that in your life, You all have a Scotty, that you all find inner peace, and gratitude, for the things/people in your life, even if... you don't agree with who or what they have become, I know I am grateful that with them, and HP... I will continue to grow not only in life, but in Compassion, Understanding, Caring, Loving, and of Course... Faith that HP has it from here...

Thanks for letting me Share...

Love & Prayers

Jozie