Well....I said it!   I was in group, and an older gent....thought....we'd make a great couple, since he was down and out........really down and out......thought poorly of his wife because she denies that the problem of alcoholism existed in their son.   Things were really bad at his house, I know.  But that's where his thinking went---------toward me.

I basically had to look at him with a wide-eyed "NO".          He worked through his emotions, feelings,  the A son moved out---finally---and his chaos left.  He greatly improved and worked his alanon program stronger and talked with his pastor who was his sponsor.

We are now friends, and can still attend the same group...  I still think in the back of his mind ,now and then, he thinks he could "13th step" with anyone, as his issues with his MRS. are still unresolved-- so he says.

But that's his stuff, not mine.  And he's still with his wife, of course.

I take care of me.  We women have to be careful.   And from what I hear these days, it CAN work both ways.