The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Just some thoughts, now that I have reached the ripe young age of 64 its kind of freeing. Looking back over my life, I took some turns that I would like to do over, but glad Im where I am at and have few regrets.
Im divorced from the xah that I was married too for 26 years and would you believe I even managed to get 2 more marriages in , the first one produced my daughter, and the second one I had a son, but he passed away when he was two from a birth defect of the heart. Both of those marriages were 8 years long.
I was married when I was 18, much too young, but thats what everyone did. Even though I never planned to get married, I was primed for a career , in music.
When you count it up, I have been married 42 years!!!!
Its been a long, somtimes painful road, some stuff didnt even include the A.
I would think my next 42 years(I plan on living past 100) would be the single life, the rest of my years will be spent on me, totally dedicated to me. Of course I still have a daughter that I love very much, I have my family, my friends, I love to travel, but I want to experience what I should have experienced in my younger days , when I was a goddess and I didnt know my worth. I gave it up so easily to the 3 men that came into my life. I didnt know then that I had choices. I thought, but this is love, we are one, we are a couple, I bought into all that crap that society tells us. Hell, my parents were together for 55 years, in all their misery.
I have learned at this age that you have to be happy, inside,absolutely happy, not the kind from an exterior thing that you feel you need for the moment, that includes men, sex, material stuff. At this time, I get happy when I see a green humming bird on my balcony, (not to be corny) but its true.
What I have to say is no matter what, we must push on, go forward. Take your time and be wise about who we let into our lives. I plan to live a creative, vibrant life. Its a choice. I am forever grateful for Al-anon, my Buddhist faith , for gratitude is the path of humanity. Look at that , I managed to write all this and didnt hardly mention the A, now thats progress. Thank you Al-anon. Bettina
Mahalo Bettina...That's quite a journey and you haven't mentioned all of the dips in the road and the highs. I wouldn't do my past life for all the money in the world except for the program and the program is worth all the money in the world for me. Two of the greatest lessons for me in Al-Anon are steps 1 - 3 and the definition of Humility, "Being teachable". Both take other people one being my HP and the others being my sponsors and the fellowship. I've been around the rooms for a long time and still continue to participate in my own recovery and the recovery of the newcomers exactly as taught. One of the most humorous experience in program for me was attending meetings where the chairperson was Buddist. She would not start the Serenity Prayer because she didn't say the word God but would start herself with "....grant me ...". How she started the prayer for the group was, "okay...Go!" and the rest of the group added the "d" and said "God, grant me..." and finished it off with her. I love and support her so much. She is truely a fulll member in our program. Keep coming back (((((Hugs)))))
Thats such a great story. Thank you for reading between the lines of my life, I dont want to repeat or re-live it , but I do so want to encourage the members of Al-anon, because they so encourage me and so do you, immensely.
