The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have spent a fair amount of time reflecting on my most recent post. I discussed with my sponsor and members of my group how I have been feeling. What it all boiled down to was I was doing a fair amount of the poor me's. I wanted people to feel sorry for me for whatever reason. Mostly because I have been continually overwhelming myself with things. Along with that not connecting with my HP on a regular basis.
It all came to a head at a meeting the other night. I was talking to a program friend and stated that since a person who's recovery I respected is no longer in my life I felt my program was suffering. This person was a great support system for me, but that changed, and it became detrimental to maintian the friendship. I, however, miss this individual's wisdom on program fundamentals. Ultimately though, it is "ME" who has allowed my program suffer. My program is only enhanced by others E,S, & H - it does not depend on it. I make my program. After facilitating the business meeting of my group that has several issues and dominant personalities, I was met with many thank you's and good jobs due to the ability to keep the focus where it belonged and the ability to practice the principles above personalities. I realized then that although it is nice to have people recognize what you are doing - it is not necessary. For me it was enough to know that "I" was working my program with HP's help.
These slips happen when we become comfortable with things in life which I was. I started to think I could do it all again. I can't. HP can. So I will let him.
Thanks to everyone I meet in here, for their inspirational posts, chat, and sharing at meetings. I am also very grateful for my f2f meetings. Because it is through each and everyone of you that I have the ability to learn about me.
Love to you all
Karen
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Nobody cares how much you know until they know how much you care. Love you all!
Karen
I am glad that you recognised what was going on and that you accepted your feelings for what they were. It is these times that I my self feel empowered. The feeling of relief that I get when I recognise what I am doing to slow or hinder my program is just amazing to me and after the first time it gets easier to recognise what I am doing to myself the next time and the next time and then I realize that I am about to do it before it happens. Don't know if that makes sence to you. For me I isolate myself when I am not feeling too good or when things become to much for me to handle, but now I recognise my short comming and correct it right away and feel even better when I do.
Hey there...we all have one of those pots. Fortunately, mine has a hole in it today. Sounds like you are using your tools...and recognizing you have the skills to change your attitude.
Thank you for sharing...some days it's so hard to stay on the path, and even harder to get back on.
well it is process not perfection and we all get on pity pottys or for me mine is on attack i want to attack any one even on a post ha so the pain will stop , we all do things but you saw it and changed it and turned around. i had a sponsor tell me once you can start your day over at any time that has saved me many times
