The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi Everyone...no big drama today...just wanted to post and let everybody know how it's going for me.
First, thanks to all for your posts and replies. It's like getting an answer before I even ask a question. And, I have a hard time verbalizing any problem, so I really appreciate all the wisdom coming onto the board.
Just being back on the board these past few weeks have so much difference in my life. I had pushed myself to the limit (work and home) and gave of myself so much that there was nothing left for me.
Last year I left my A, but returned when he promised (yet again) not to drink. Well, that certainly hasn't been a bed of roses. He's the same jerk,,,,just not drunk.
Since connecting with al-anon, I've started building my own life, even though I still and probably always will live with him. I opened my own retail shop, and that's been my lifesaver. No matter how hard I work at home, I can come here to relax. Yes, it's very hard work, but it's also mine...and if I choose to get a little down time (like here on the board), then I can do so.
I've just started making my sanctuary comfy, too...adding nice towels and magazines to the bathroom...and some CAL. When my A kept avoiding heavy work which I occasionally needed done...I started doing it myself. Got me some power tools, and started doing what I could do. Just wired a new security system last week, and built a new "open" sign. He came in the shop briefly and asked who did the work, and I told him I did so. He made a snide comment when I told him I needed a sander, but I just let it pass.
This weekend, while working at home with him, I found that if I just concentrated on deep (yoga) breathing, I gained the power to not be sucked into an argument with him. It really worked.
It's so easy to let our recovery take a backseat to other activities, some days, but if we don't take care of ourselves, then who will?????
So, remember to do something, however small for yourself today.