The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I just wondered if any others on this board have experienced problems with what to tell children about alcoholic parent
My son is 29 but with a learning disability which means he functions around the age of 12 emotionally. He has witnessed his father at his worst and also the rows beteween his parents. I try to keep these out of his hearing but he is not that stupid and quickly picks up on the atmosphere between his dad and I. I have had to explain to him about the alcohol changing his dad but it is obviously, very difficult.
The reason I am posting is to bring a suggestion to others in this situation, that I have found works: My son would keep going on and on about his dad, the drinking and his behaviour. I knew it was good to let him talk but, at times it became too much and I wanted to just forget the problems for a while.
I see a workplace counsellor once every 2 weeks because home pressures infiltrate into work-life. I told her about my son and she came up with something that really works. She said allow him 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes in the evening to talk about his father then tell him it has to go in a box and the shut the lid. I tried this and it has now become a bit of a joke between Son and I. If I have been going on about AH, son will say "that's it - 5 minutes!" and I do the same if he has been going on. It makes us laugh, which can only be good. When I say "put it in the box" he replies "this box is getting very full - I can't close the lid!" More laughter. So it works
Just thought I wopuld pass that on to anyone else who may be similarly struggling.
That tatty was awsome thank you for sharring that with this board , your son may get a better understanding from the alateen literature , it is simple and to the point , talks about respecting the alcoholic and teaches them about the disease , it also tells them to respect themselves . it talks about keeping the focus on themselves and how to become a better person . Give your councelor a heads up too that was an amazing suggestion and I will pass it on the parents i come in contact with in the future as many have complained about the same things . Thank you again . Louise
What a great way to help teach our kids to control their obsessive behavior. We are all codependent including the children. None of us comes from a home like this unscathed. My son is 9 yrs old and I have attmpted to teach him about how Al-Anon suggests that we handle ourselves when dealing with others, including the alcoholic. I hope I can pass on some of the skills that I never learned as a kid.
Put it in the box is great. I love it. Thank you for passing it on.
In recovery,
__________________
~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
