I spent almost all day yesterday finishing off my daily readers.  I finished One Day at a Time, Courage to Change, Keep It Simple, Hope for Today and the Language of Letting Go.  I then went back through my journal of the past year and re read everything in it, including much ESH from my MIP family that I copied and pasted there when I needed held up.  Then I grabbed my Paths To Recovery and read through it too. 

So much time has passed and I will be having my one year anniversary Saturday. 

I spent yesterday looking back on the past year and my recovery, which has been a roller coaster ride up, down and sideways.  But I realized that through it all I remained, and kept coming back.  Even when I didn't want to get up and get dressed I did it.  I started out my F2F with my SIL but we tend to go our own seperate ways often now, her to her meetings and me to mine, which we both know is for the best.  I remember walking into my VERY FIRST F2F meeting alone and how hard that was, and I didn't want that for her and I'm so happy that I could be a part of the beginning of her journey, but I know it's hers to make now as mine is mine, and she is doing well.

I can look back and say I have worked the program.  I completed my first round through the steps in 2009 with an AWESOME woman and GREAT sponsor, against all odds-as it was an online sponsorship and she was a map away.  She is a two time winner, and could be hard at times and I love her for it!  I would'nt have her any other way......her tough at times, but never mean love, guided me greatly and I will be indebted to her always.  Due to distance I found a closer sponsor with my first sponsor's blessings, but that didn't work out due to her inability to sponsor at the time and we parted as sponsor/sponsee but are now best of friends and still there for one another.  I found the lady who is my sponsor now and she is GREAT and such a good person and has 17 yrs in program.  I've kept up with my daily readers and completed my first round through all of them, having taken a lot with me from those books.  I have posted on MIP and maintained a close fellowship with many here and am blessed to know each and every one of you, even those I didn't see eye to eye with.  I've made calls many times a week, and made F2F meetings almost weekly. I've journaled, listened to AlAnon Conference tapes daily and held on tight when I wanted to let go. 

I have done in my first year of AlAnon more than I ever thought I could in my life and I see things and people differently in a lot of ways now.  I can look back and say I worked the program, but even though I did all the right footwork, I don't think I worked it as good as I could have, and therefore that is my plan for 2010-though I know we dont project here:). 

My overall goal for 2010 is to rededicate myself to this program and work this program at 100% of my capabilties and make my HP the center of my life in action and word, trusting His will for me always.  I know that this program works if you work it-and I have worked it and come a long way, but now I want to work it even better and come even farther!!!

May each of you have a very blessed and safe New Year and may your HP hold you, protect you and keep you safe as always.

Love and peace,
Shellyj123