The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
WELP... Here it is the Start of a New Year Coming on me Fast, and in all that, I got to thinking back about what 2009 brought to my life... ;) Now Granted, I started the Boards in LATE 2008, under the Name of "Missing Out" but it wasn't long after entering this program that I realized, I wasn't Missing Out at all... I was Growing and learning how to "Find" Myself again...
After the loss of my Afather to this disease, I honestly don't know how I would have survived if it wasn't for this Board, and the people on it...You all carried me those 1st 2 months... Shortly there after, my SIL convinced me to go to "our' 1st F2F Meeting... Jan. 2nd 2009 Was my 1st Trip...
Since then... I haven't looked back, other then to heal, and accept that my past was laid before me so that I would come to a place in time were "I" became part of the equation again... I place were "I" Was Someone, and "I" was Worthy of a better Life, and a Better Understanding of Who & What I really was...
2009 Has Taught me that I still have my Afather with me Daily, no matter where he rests his head, here or in heaven... I still have every Memory of our Good times, & Bad times, that I hold dear in my heart... I never thought that I could EVER be "At Peace" with him being gone, but here it is a Year & 2months later, and I am not only Surviving, I am "Thriving" (As my Friend Dave would say, Love ya Dave :0) )....
We all have those "Slump" days were ya just don't think you can move on to the next moment, yet... We Do... I have days were I wonder "When will it just Stop/End? I sit down, do my prayers and all be dammed... "This Too Pasted"... It funny to me that something as Simple as a Sloagan, Can At time ... "Restore Me To Sanity"... And Friends I am QUEEN of Slogans... All of them... I wear them on my fingers and wrists, and have them Plastered through out my house, just as a Safety Net when I hit those bumps in the road...
It is nice to know that I am NOT Alone, and that I am NOT the Only Person that had the fears, and Untruths that I tried to Hide all my life... A Very Dear Friend of mine at my F2F said that when she 1st entered the rooms (23 yrs ago), Her biggest thing was "False Pride", after listening to her speak at the meeting... I knew that I to am that Person, I have been "Surviving" on it for a LONG time... I think now, that HP is telling me its time to start tearing back those layers, and giving myself the credit I desirve, instead of handing it off to someone else... Which was always Easier for me...
Yes I back slide, come in Side ways some days, and have to dig deeper at times, to see what my HP has instore for me, but its all coming together... I dove in and Ask a Friend of mine to be a Sponser for me coming the 1st of the year, I want to start working the steps, and going thru some of my books more vigorously, and I know that I will come out a winner... Because HP reminds me daily that I AM Worthy, & I AM WORTH IT! So that is the plan for 2010... The New Year...New Beginnings...
As some of you know I had mentioned that one of my meetings got moved due to our hospital we had them in closed... well... After a short time of worring weather we could find a place, Our Local AA was Nice enough to share their New Place with us, and now we have a wonderful place in a church and the Name of our NEW GROUP is Called "New Beginnings" I Love it... It is Closer to my Home, it is on Sunday Nights which I am Usually ALWAY Free for, I know that HP had a hand in it all for us... All Of Us that Attend...
Soooooo To My WONDERFUL MIP Family... I owe you all the moon & stars for carrying and nurturing me and give me the Courage to Charge ahead on this Beautiful Journey in my life... I know that my time on the boards has been scares, here of late, and I am praying to get more time on here, the holidays at times I allow to overwhelm me but this year as my Friend Lloyd would say... I have learned slowly how to "Go With The Flow", and amazingly it has been nothing but Wonderful memories with my Family during the holidays, and times I wont forget...
Welp MIP... I hope that I have expressed to you all what you mean to me, and how you have carried me when I didn't have the strength to carry myself... Without Al-anon/ACOA I don't know were I would be, but I know that this past year would not of ended as Beautiful if it wasn't for ALL of you...
WISHING YOU ALL.... A VERY HAPPY NEW YEAR.... FOR THE BEST IS YET TO COME!!!
Loving you all for remaining to Come here, Share, Care, ESH us all to a better way of life... Thank you all for making that Happen for Me In my Life... ;)
What a Blessing you all are....
Love, Hugs & Prayers To you all.... & HAPPY NEW YEARS 2010
Thanks for this post, Jozie - it was inspirational! It's amazing to see how the program has worked for you and how you are using it to change yourself and allow yourself peace and happiness!
You were a miracle in progress and still are. You have done sooo well with the suggestions and followed thru to fulfill your responsibility to your own recovery. "...the Courage to change the things I can..." Awesome girl!! Sponsor...steps what an affirmation that the program works when you work it. I'm in support and have a very happy New Year; one day at a time of course. ((((hugs))))
