The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So a part of my family have all been wearing body explosives and setting themselves off at very weird times while trying to find a time when they can do a coordinated blast. When did I think the tape of my past was totally destroyed and would not earn re-run status? Of course one part of the family runs to my Al-Anon wife while the other runs to me and the rest of them just run in circles doing a war chant on each other. They want help (superficially in the past and closer to realistically now) because it has come to the degree where public service (police/courts) has been invited to the dance and want some to go home and others to not to. Been there done that including a few things that I'm expecting will show up but haven't yet.
Just came from a meeting on choices and one family member was there for the first time and nodding it's head to the beat of the meeting while not getting it and making choices to invite my spouse and I to get more involved on a higher level. When I hear language like "I want you to...." and the requester is 20 plus years younger than I, I won't and don't respond in any way shape or form that will have me enable the situation closer to more deafening sound. And then I want to fall on the ground and laugh because this member just got a message that they presented to me for my reaction 23 years ago. What goes around comes around and we are staying off the merry go round and away from that sickening twirly music. Choices..."we not playing no matter how bad you want what we have." I pulled the chince thightly and honestly by telling them..."What I have got is not up for grabs for anyone. However and who ever decided to commit us to the situation...un-do it because we're not doing it that way." There actually were people waiting at our house for us to come home from the meeting to plot, plan or persue a fix-it program. I've learned now how to say HUH? with understanding and compassion.
I was standing out in the parking lot with this family member and was attracted by the moonlight attempting to pierce the black clouds overhead. One of those wide diffused haloy beams that breaks thru and gives light but not alot and not enough to reach the ground and I said..."I understand by this that God is indicating that understanding and wisdom is or maybe available soon and that we are to stop, wait and be patient for it rather than ignore the message." I've made up my mind (choice) that is what I am going to do. This is a God thing...It's always been a God thing and I ain't God even on my best of days.
I never thought I'd be saying on the MIP forum..."Thanks for letting me vent" and now I gotta laught at the idea of just thinking and the joy that I am with family.
LOL... Thanks for letting me vent......er share!! (((((hugs)))))
It certainly is okay to vent and no better place than with an Al-anon member who understands or on a place like this board.
I admire that you live with program coursing through you even when you are "venting" or living with life's challenges.
We are not promised a perfect life. We are promised that we will learn to be in our life with the ability and knowledge to choose how we want to live it.
I am sitting here in the snow of NYC feeling warmed by this family and your honest share. l laughed out loud as I read your first Paragraph. It really did describe the process of dealing with this disease.
Your humor, compassion and love are expressed so well even in a "Vent."
Thanks for helping to keep me sane!!!!!
I pray that You and each MIP Member have a Blessed, Healthy New Year- One Day At A Time.
Hugs to You... I always enjoy reading your posts for you seem to know just how to word it, and bring a Smile to my face weather you try or not...
Got to love this very Cunning Disease, and the effects it has on ALL of us in the family, Good for you for Sticking to your Guns, and taking back your own "Personal" Power, I know for me at times I struggle with it ... BUT WOW... When I get to were you were at, and I stand my Ground on MY Beliefs, it is pretty Powerful stuff... But I think what I LOVE The Most, is the expression on their Face when they HEAR It for the 1st time... :D
My Family FULL OF A's.... Have seen a differance in ME, Some Envy it... Other Dispise it... But Me... I just Let Go & Let God, and Back away Slowly...
Thanks for your "VENT" and I'm glad I was here to read it, your words have always been uplifting to me, and tho I have been gone a while, I'm glad to see it hasn't changed ;o)
Good For You Jerry... Way to Work Your Program and be such a inspiration to the Rest of us!
HAPPY NEW YEARS TOO YOU & YOURS
Love & Prayers My Friend :D
Jozie
-- Edited by Jozie on Thursday 31st of December 2009 10:02:45 AM
It's very difficult to think about how last evening would have come out otherwise if there was no MIP....John you're the "instrument" with the talents.
I am grateful for the stuff given back so far cause it is supportive and makes me feel spiritually fit.
I got a phone call at 10 pm while I was posting this post asking if it was "too late" to talk. For me it was and I wasn't going to go there...how many times have you all taught me those words and thought conditioning. I was ready to go look out the front windows of the house to see if the family was hiding inside of the birds that comes to our lawn in the morning. We're going to get a bit of breakfast and I don't want to have shoot my way to the car.
NEW 
