I am new and totally confused - Al-Anon Family Group

lost5909 · Newbie

I am new and totally confused

Jerry F · ~*Service Worker*~

You're not alone Lost...We're here and we know your story. Many here have been in
your shoe and very near the same condition as you are now. If you have the ability
to relax a bit try believing that this can be and will be the end to your fear if you have
the ability to listen and follow some suggestions which worked for many of us. Some
thoughts that might help also are the three cees (Cs) of the Al-Anon Program...You
didn't cause this, can't control it and cannot cure it. It's not your fault. What I did was
find my way into the Al-Anon Family Groups. I found the hotline number to the local
area groups in the white pages of my local telephone book and I called and then went
where she suggested and it saved my life. I understand the drunk, threat, accuse,
threaten more and physical abuse and much of the time I was the violator and made
the threats. It was all very sick and I don't ever have to live that way anymore. Get
to the meetings that you can as early as you can and listen to the people in the rooms.
Get and read as much literature that you can on the disease of alcoholism and much of
it will be freely given. Chance are you will not lack for Al-Anon contact at any time and
then there is MIP...here...where you have found yourself. The Family here will stand by
and support you; love you until you learn how to love yourself.

Don't let your confusion stop you from reading earlier post and the stories of change
that others have gone thru after following the suggestions. Keep coming back.
It might sound trite wishing you a Merry Christmas and I hope some of it is for you.

In support (((((hugs))))) smile

Jen · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome to MIP

I am so sorry that you are going through this difficult time. Please keep coming back here. Read as much as you can, and post. You will find many who understand and are, or have been, where you are. You need support and you will find it on this board and in the face2face rooms of Al-Anon.

Please look for a meeting in your area as well. The love and support that I found in the meeting rooms is unbelievable. You can be happy and find serenity in this program.

I am very glad that you have found us. You are in the right place.

Tattyhead · Senior Member

(((Hugs)))) Lost.

You have certainly found your way to the right place. As Jerry says, we know your story - most of us have lived/are living it. My life is a bit of a nightmare; living with an alcoholic to whom I have been maried almost 38 years. I found the care and support of this board and chat room an awesome source of support. If, living in the mountains, you cannot get to alanon face to face meetings, the on-line meetings here make a very good second-best.

Good luck, Lost - come back as often as you like - you are among people who care about you.

Tish xx

Maria123 · ~*Service Worker*~

Welcome ((((lost))))) <---hugs,

I am sorry for what you have gone through thus far, today can be the beginning of the rest of your life. They say we don't get better "until we are sick and tired of being sick and tired."

Keep coming, there is hope, you will find solutions, attend face to face meetings if you can, they are the best as I am sure you will find out.

welcome aboard,
Maria

maresie · ~*Service Worker*~

I'm so sorry you have had to live this nightmare. I would highly recommend you come here as often as you can, go to the chat room, get to know us. This is a wonderful group of people. I was with an alcoholic who was often violent and abusive for many years. Eventually I stopped being with him. That journey was a long hard one for me. I can't say I miss his absolute craziness and I can't say I have much concern for his welfare anymore as I think the disease has swallowed him whole.

I'm so glad you found this resource for yourself. This is the beginning of a new way of being for you. I hope you will avail yourself of as much al anon literature as you can.

I look forward to getting to know you.

Maresie.

lost5909 · Newbie

Thank you all. As you probably know it is impossible to talk to someone that has not"been there". I have gone to a few chat rooms and listened, even talked at one.
I just don't know what to do. Right now he has moved from VA to what he calls a homeless shelter. It is a hotel the government bought and a ministry runs where they furnish all their food, clothing, toiletries etc. He has heat and can come and go as he pleases. All he has to do is work 20 hours per week. I went to their web site it looks pretty nice to me.
I just know I can't do this anymore.I am getting older and don't have the guts I used to. Things are harder for me to do.
I can't tell you how much the response from allof you helped and surprised me.
Thank you!! I will be back often. Don'tknow about f2f meeting my working hours and weather right now stops me from doing things as wellas the cost of gas.
Thank you again. Lost

Jen · ~*Service Worker*~

Lost, of course we cannot tell you what twould be best for you, but if you keep coming, get to meetings, read the Al-Anon literature, find a sponsor, etc, you will learn the skills to cope with this disease and figure out what is best for you. You will also find the strength to act on that knowledge. It is not easy or fast, but it is a good journey. I know I am very grateful to the people who have been here for me.

Welcome to your new beginning.

maresie · ~*Service Worker*~

I used to focus a great deal on what the ex A did. I saw a lot of his choices as the soft landing. He always had to have a car, cash and an "out". For me now I see that as part of the alcoholism. I see that now as part of their inabilty to live life on lifes terms. I no longer envy the "out".

Maresie.

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.