The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I bought my AS (age 29) a $200.00 gift card so that he could buy him some much needed new clothes. I bought the cards because I knew the store had a policy of not giving cash back for returned items.
He came by to see me this morning and I ask him what did he buy with his gift card, he pointed to the long sleeve tee shirt he was wearing. I asked him was that all he had bought with his card. He told me he had to buy presents for his "friends". I wanted to cry, he was that little boy again standing in front of me again telling me that if he didn't give his best toy, ball or whatever to his friends they wouldn't play with him. One Christmas I remember when he was about ten he had received $50.00 from aunts & uncles, etc., and I told him that we would go to the mall the next day and let him spend his money, he began to stammer and turn red, and when I ask him where his money was he said had give it to the boy across the street because he would not play with him anymore if he didn't give him his money. I went right over to his house and told him to return the money. I can't do that for him anymore.
I pray for the day that he will see that his "friends" just are out to use him up.
It is so hard for a mother to stand by and watch this, but I controled myself and didn't comment on him using his gift card to buy his "friends" presents.
But now that he has left haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!
Aloha Dreamsover...He do care like you care. Hope none of the presents he bought for his friends were the intoxicating kind. Program is alot about growing up to me...the right way. Merry Christmas ((((((hugs))))))
Like most things in this disease, that is so hard to watch. But good for you for not saying anything bad about it. Obviously he does not need a further guilt trip about it. I too hope he can one day realise that those are not his friends and learn to take care of himself.
Program and recovery is a lot about growing up, maturity. It was for me anyway. I learned to let go of those childlike thought patterns. Keep working on you and hopefully he will want some of what you got.
In recovery,
__________________
~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
feels for your share. It's heartbreaking. We are powerless over our children, ugh!