The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
and as I was giving my youngest son his birthday hug and looking over his great wife and two lovely daughters I felt old and the lost for not being close to him for 18 years. I don't do remorse well so that is about all of it there. He came over for his brithday gift and some birthday cupcakes and to "talk story" and pass on life stuff. Passing on life stuff for me is great...I get to learn from my sons and daughter from their life experiences and for moments I get younger. I just harvested some taro I grow in my yard and made some poi with. I am proud of it and he tasted it and agreed that it was sweeter than some he just made himself from taro a friend gave him that would make mine look very very small by comparison...Big deal for me because I can get info from my son and the address of the person who grows the bigger stuff so that mine can get better.
Happy story? you bet...alcoholism and drug addiction almost ended this for me and for him years ago...almost but for the grace of God there we are and so much better off for it. I am grateful and very happy for how it's turned out. Thanks for the support.
(((((hugs))))) and Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all.
Awww Jerry, That was sweet. Boy, you really Are a Hawaiian--you don't just live there. Making poi and eating it. I am really impressed. And more than a little envious. But all that was not the point--it's just that to a Mainlander, you are an Exotic. So glad your boy is doing well. You, too. It's all good.
Temple
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It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
That is wonderful, Jerry. Thank you for sharing your success with us. We are so lucky to have these times with our families.
I was thinking the same thing earlier today, that addiction almost stole this away from me and my family. My AH shared with me that he is almost uncomfortable with the lack of stress, about money and getting gifts and such, that this holiday has been for us. I told him that most of his stress in past years was in his own head. We really never spend that much on Christmas, he just always seemed to need to do more and more. I said," Christmas isn't my birthday or yours or the kids. Giving gifts is supposed to be a symbolic gesture, not a $100 a piece shopping drama." He said," I think I am finally getting that."
I love these conversations with him. That never ever was possible before Al-Anon.
This year we have managed to do a little more for Christmas, but it is only because we have not stressed about it and have just had faith that it would work out. It is amazing how things just work out when you can let go and let them. I have no idea how we have managed some things this year. Money has been really tight as it has been for many. But I realised that I no longer have to know how, I just need to have faith that they will work out the way that is right. I don't have to have the details anymore and I don't have to be in control of it. What a relief.
I can also let go of my Mom and her drama, my brother and his drama, etc. I can love them and learn not to be drawn into their stuff. I can enjoy the holiday with my husband and my kids and just let it be enough.
I love this program and I am sooo grateful for these things it has given me.
In recovery,
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~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
Jerry - thank you for sharing! I hope one day our sons will feel the same way about their dad. Your posts are always inspiring and/or full of useful info!
And Jen - your share was beautiful too. This Christmas is quite challenging for me. However, it makes me feel good to know that others are having a wonderful time! It gives me hope.
Merry Christmas to all that read this! GailMichelle
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You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light. Lama Surya Das
Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die. Malachy McCourt
You always bring such a great perspective to everything Jerry.... No use dwelling over "what could have been", or you might miss what you have today..... Good for you, and so glad you have that relationship with your kids today!!!
Mele Kelikimaka (sp?) to you and yours...
Tom
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
. No use dwelling over "what could have been", or you might miss what you have today.....
Oh so true!!!! 8 years of recovery and now I am finally, oh yes, maybe looking in the rear view mirror, but not anymore staring at it and the big thing I notice is no more beating me up over past mistakes---I did my best with the resources I had at the time
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
