Hi family,

I haven't posted recently. I have been a bit busy and trying to there is so much happening that I don't always know how to slow down the thoughts enough to get them to come out a few at a time let alone one at a time.

Today was a weird day for me. I work for a social services agency. We provided case management and employment training for adults who are receiving state welfare (it isn't called that anymore, but I am trying to KISS here ;))

Anyway-

3-4 years ago I met this client. I will call him Jeff for the ease of this thread. Well the first time I met Jeff I liked him, which was a red flag to me since my picker is broken. In our frist one-on-one session he told me he was an addict and in recovery. I thought to myself of course you are it all makes sense now . I was able to spend a few months working with him and watching him grow. I needed him in my life to show me that my picker was fixable :).

A little after he came to us his girlfriend became a client of ours and she was also assigned to me. I took her under my wing and was hoping I could be good for her. I helped her get a temporary job at the place where I worked and Jeff went on to college to work on becoming a chemical dependancy counselor.

In the years that I have known them the have both graduated their treatment programs, had their children returned to them by CPS and grown so much it is unbelieveable.

Fast forward to present day.

Jeff is heartbroken his girl left him for another girl and she is threatning to take the kidos from him. His girl may or not be using it doesn't really matter. She is back to the old behaviors that speaks for itself.

He has reached out to me the past few weeks. He has not been a client for a couple years and he knows that he can trust me. He is really hurting and very embarassed about what she did to him. She still had some ties to us and the girl she left him for was recently a client of ours. He was thinking we all were taking her side.

Thanks to this program, I can be a support and not tell him what I really think of her. There are always two sides to a story and what happened is none of my business. BUT it is so hard to NOT tell him what I really think of her. My lip really hurts from bitting it so hard.

He came by today. He needed help. He had two court papers he needed printed off before his court appointment at 3:30. He is trying to get custody of the kids and she took them Friday and he has no clue where they are. He was/is terrified because the oldest is not his, but he doesn't think of him that way.

I have struggled with how much I can help Jeff. I am going through some major stuff right now myself. How much help can I be to someone else? So while he was filing out his forms I asked myself what can I do and I answered I can go with him if he wants me to. So I told him I would go if he wanted support. He almost cried and then I did.

I met him at the court house. He was waiting to see the court facilitator. He wasn't waiting in her waiting room. I knew this because I had just seen her for my divorce paperwork right before Thankgiving. I told him he was in the wrong place and showed him where she really was. Already my experience was useful to him.

When I was parking my car I had seen another client that just left us walking into the courthouse. I had to pass a message to him about a service he signed up for, but since he left my program I couldn't reach him. I thought it would be nice if I could catch him, but he was gone before I could get the car parked.

While Jeff was in with the facilitator this other client walked into the area I was waiting in. He was actually going into the same courtroom at the same time as Jeff's meeting with the judge. We said hi and I told him I was trying to reach him and tracked him down there to tell him something. Now he knows I like to tease and he should have known I was kidding, but he looked a little freaked. I told him I was kidding and was here for someone else, but I was glad to bump into him. I was able to pass along my message and maybe he can fix the problem and get the service he signed up for.

While we were waitng for him to be called before the judge he thanked me for coming and he started to get all teary eyed. I knew at that moment that I was where I needed to be and I was so glad I made the choice to go with him. During the meeting with the judge she heard Jeff's side of the story and approved his paperwork and set another court date for the 21st.

We walked out of the courtroom and he said that she would be there at the 21st appiontment. He said that up until she recieved the paperwork she wasn't going to believe that he was going to follow through with it. He said that she would expect him to roll over and take it like he always did. Hmmmmmm I thought who does that remind me of????? I told him I was proud of him and gave him a hug. Right when I was asked him if he wanted me to go with him he asked me if I would go with him.

I am very happy I went. It wasn't much I just sat there, but it helped him. I was able to back up what I had been telling him and in my own way I was able to show him just how special he really is. I was able to pat him on the back when he needed it and offer strength that I had wanted to keep for me because I thought I needed it. I gave him in my eyes so little, but what I got back was so much more.

Thanks for allowing me to have something to give.

Mandy