The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
What a last 3 days, I am Woop'd Yet can't sleep, so here I am...
I have some examples of my Downs: Son about got head takin off by a soccer ball Lost the game Grandma Still in the Hospital, Uncle Still in Hospital Missed My Boy... :o) Brother & Sis Still not talking to each other Niece dating an addict Deceased AFathers Birthday Step Sons Dog of 13 yrs past today Our New Meeting was in a Cold Hall way on metal folding chairs Child drama No Flowers @ Store to get for Dad's Grave
What I'm Thankful for out of all this: My Son Got UP Off the Ground and Marched on... He didn't win the Game but his Spirit didn't falter My Grandma is still with me My Uncle is Still with me My boy was with his Best Bud, and in Very Capible hands, which gave me a Wonderful Evenning just sitting at home with my Hubbie..Watching Funny Movies in front of a great fire... My Abrother & ASister I can Not Control 'None Of My Business' For my Neice I can Keep on Praying & Keep Coming Back... I Celibrated my father all day on his birthday with his favorite Music, His Favorite Food, and With the ones that DID Love him My Baby Sis & Babiest Bro Tho my step son lost his dog, it was out of my control, and I have sent them both my prayers We HAD Our Meeting... I think I would have sat in the parking lot... I am Grateful that I have such Good Kids in My LIfe, That they share there Life with me, some blood, some family, and some not, but all have made a special place in my heart... As for the flowers, welp.. I fixed that with a Nice Christmas Tree, and I got him a Snowman, Santa, & Reindeer to sit on his stone, Looked really nice... Mad me feel wonderful...and i had my Baby Sis there and got to Be There to help her cope in that day.. She needed it.. My Baby Brother and his GF & Other Sister came by and chatted with me & my hubbie for over an hour.. Cause he just wanted to See My Face... That made my night at peace... Found & talked to an Ol Friend I haven't spokin to in almost 20 years My Husband went to stay at our camp for the night tonight, & I have had the house to my self since the boy went to bed 3 hours ago.. "Hints" Why I can't Sleep... I don't want it to end... lol... I bought me an early B-day gift, a New Digital Camera Just because... A Year was long enough to "Think" about it, and I'm Worth it... ;)
I sit sometimes and I look over that list of DOWNS.. and I allow them to drag me to a place that is sometimes hard to crawl out of on my own, I am so grateful the have al-anon, MIP, ACOA the all of it all... I can still look back, (Not all that long ago) and remember very clearly how 'Insane' my life would become, in the face of a "Down" list that I was attemping to control... (Like I Could) I remember something like these very things, I would carry around in my muscles and joints and have days I couldn't drag myself from the couch or a bed... I would never smile, for i was waitin for the next pile that was going to be coming my way at any moment.. If there wasn't something to dwell on, I just do it anyway...
Since this program I have changed so much, it amazes me sometimes, I still have a VERY LONG way to go but I am so lucky to have had such as chance to renew and restart my life... I'm so glad I have such a place to come and be who i am and not the person everyone is pulling me to be... I have not been on the boards much, I have really been tryin to get my head in other things, like preparing for Thanksgiving treats that i want to make...
I sit and listen at the meetings the last two Fri & Sun and EVERYONE is one edge for the Holidays, me included.. But im good with it now... I have ask my HP to Take it, and just give me what ya got as it comes and that is how I plan to survive...
MIP Family... I hope that you also have the chance to just "Goooo With the Flowwww", I don't care to control it, I don't want to cure any of it, I want to see what HP has instore for me, and I know that Good Bad or Ugly... I''m Right were I need to be... And this too shall Pass.. It Always Does, and Hp hasn't let me down yet...
Crazy is as Crazy Does .....I'm Told... ME... I choose Serenity... With or with out the Help of others....
Love & Prayers Family... Happy Holidays... Keep It Simple..Take what ya like and leave the rest...
Jozie
-- Edited by Jozie on Sunday 22nd of November 2009 11:54:48 PM
Keep looking on the UP side of the list. I am too. Life has lots of downs, but its how we look at and deal with them that counts. Seems strange, but I agree with you that I don't want to control it anymore either, at least most of the time. Just wait to see what HP has for me. That's enough now. I used to be the worst control freak. I am sooo grateful for this program.
Have a great night!
In recovery,
__________________
~Jen~
"When you come to the edge of all you know you must believe in one of two things... there will be earth on which to stand or you will be given wings." ~Unknown
Thanks for your honest, inspirational share!!! I agree going with the flow works!!!! Should be an alanon slogan in there somewhere.
Holidays are a difficult time for me. Many memories try to take me to the past. I have learned it is OK to look there but I must move forward and form a new happy memory with the gift of this new holiday season. Focusing on the current day and current season works wonders for me
Thanks for being here and Happy Thanksgiving to you and your family
There sure seems to be a lot more ups than downs in this post great for you. The holidays are rough, it makes us think of those we have lost, I am trying as hard as I can to be Thankful for those that are still here with me this Thanksgiving.
