The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi My ABF never contacted me yesterday with money or phone I got on wiyth my day but could nt help ringing his phone before I went to bed last night it was off so looks like he has gone on bender again with the money. Hes going right back to where he was before his 6 months sobriety. I am healthiers today and I am determined not to go with him. I rang my sponsor last night and we chatted I felt so much better she helps me put it all into perspective. I slept o.k got up this morning and went out shopping with the kids(he hardly came into my head) took the kids out for a meal it was lovely we all laughted yippeee.
I think I am stating to understand what they mean by detaching with love I love my ABF but theres nothing I can do. I need to be o.k for my kids. past week or two been hard but al non is pulling me back up. I am keeping busy and working this programme as hard as I can. Something I need to do now is start socialising more I have isolated myself socially since been with ABF. I was scared to go out socially while in pain as if I do drink it comes out but sponsor suggests getting out there dont have to drink just mix make friend enjoy my life or can sit in and obsees what he is doing god love him.
It sounds like you are working a terrific program and the parts of yourself that can get in the way- obsessing about your ABF and isolating yourself. Most of us can claim those character defects. I think they are very much a part of codependancy.
At my lowest point, I was extremely isolated. No friends were allowed too close, my family didn't even know what was going on. Over time, I realized I needed to get my life started again. I began to make plans to socialize with a few girlfriends I could trust, I enrolled in an art class for a time, joined a book club etc. We've only got this one life to live. The question is, what are we going to do with it? I've still got a long way to go, I still hold myself back a lot, but I believe I'm on the right path.
I like so much that you are thinking about how to detach with love and keep your recovery efforts focused on yourself - your kids will definitely appreciate that.
