The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I realized today that the mental and physical exhaustion, coupled with weight gain due to medical issues is slowly taking huge toll, and I am sliding quickly into depression. Fears and worry about what if's regarding my pending surgery are creeping in more often than I can count lately. I am trying to give what I need to at work, though I find that I can't enforce rules that keep changing and I can't control anything there. I can show up, give my best which isn't much now and push through it. At home I found myself tonight doing some little things and feeling pretty "big" about it:) I've been secluding and isolating as much as I possibly can for the past 2 weeks because I'm sad, and I really don't feel like my self at all. My self esteem is at an all time low, thanks to the weight, and as I find myself disgusted with my own physical appearance I want to isolate more. I don't even want to look at me-lol Decided tonight that it's time to chage some things.........the sad and depressed me needs to go away, so the happy AlAnon me, who has faith and trust can dig her way back out. It won't be easy but as long as I do it, a little at a time, one day at a time, I might be able to make it happen. I just can't imagine spending the holiday season like this and refuse to just give up and give in...........I am a fighter, always have been and always will be and I'm not about to go down without a fight this time. I love you all MIP family, thanks so much for pulling me up more times than I can count...... Shelly
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
Wow! That is such great writing with so much feeling. You sound strong, I hope I can pull some of your strength towards myself. I always hear about the laws of attraction and positive thinking brings about positive results.... Take care and good luck with your sugery, I bet you'll be fine! XX Shanda
Hi, the serenity prayer say courage to change the things we can I felt just like you a couple of months back. I joined a slimming club called slimming world in England where I live. This has had many benefits for me I have something else to focus on that is about me not the A. I have lost a stone in weight ready for my 40th on Boxing day and feel ggod and proud. Also i met some really good girls and have had a good laugh at the group its better than staying at home alone not everone is as unrealiable as an A. Hope this helps shelley as you say baby staeps just make sure they are in the right direction for you.
Wow I have sure been there. I went into such a deep depression for a long time that i couldn't stand to look at myself in the mirror literally. I have been working through that and getting better but man I don't see the person (physically wise) that I used to and it saddens me. My hubby tells me everyday I am beautiful and I believe he believes that but I just can't get myself to believe that. But again it is getting better..I force myself to look at who and what I am. Actually the best thing about it for me was that I look at others in a completly different way. I don't judge anymore by the "looks" of the person but look to the inside. I think that was a growing moment. Keep growing Kelley... You sound like a really strong person Prayers to you on your upcoming surgery
