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My husband's DUI sentencing was today and by all accounts, he should be in jail right now. Unfortunately, thanks to his lawyer and that stupid judge, his sentencing has been postponed a (2nd time) until JANUARY 12!!!!!! I was really looking forward to him not being here for Christmas. He has managed to make my last 4 Christmases unenjoyable at some point during the holiday season because of his drinking and I was so looking forward to a nice, quiet, peaceful Christmas with him not here. I'm so depressed now. I wonder what God's plan is with all of this? I'm trying to look on the bright side of all this and think about the positive things to him being home, but there aren't many. Heck, he even went out and picked up a 6-pack of beer after his court-ordered AA meeting and drug testing this afternoon.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
Hi Mom I am so sorry for the delay in sentencing and your Hubbby's actions. It is a great example of WHY we MUST :
Not have any Expectations Live One Day At A Time and Do Not Project
The serenity prayer is perfect. Decide that y0u and your son are going to enjoy this Holiday. Practice Detaching from your A and proceed to prepare to enjoy the Holiday. Decide no matter what HE is not going to ruin it for you and your son. Plan on taking lots of pictures, visiting Santa and enjoying your son.
Holidays are hard but we will get thru them together.
-- Edited by hotrod on Tuesday 17th of November 2009 09:18:09 PM
I agree you can decide to enjoy yourself in spite of what he is or is not doing. Put on blinders, focus on you and give yourself permission to enjoy yourself in spite of him. Ignore him if u have to, for a lil while.
I know for me, I got detachment with love, after I set and followed through on boundaries. We also need inner boundaries that will allow us to be "OK" even if others arnt ~ you do NOT have to take on their feelings - his moods, whims, issues, feelings are his, leave them with him and enjoy YOU, focus on YOU, work ur steps. Around the Holidays, a lot of people have trouble, I know my expectations can get in the way of reality and I do go to the chat room and talk when this happens, attend or chair mtgs online, work my steps, re-focus back on me. It is my choice what I am going to do and focus on - and for today, I choose to not let it be this disease.
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
I'm sorry to hear about what you are going through.I know what you mean about being glad to have him away.I feel like that everyday and Christmas just makes it worse.You have a right to enjoy Christmas with your family.Stop focusing on how bad things might be or what he'll do next.Last year I did all the Christmas shopping myself .Ah it was nice no fights no dealing with him. I enjoyed every minute of it and when family gatherings came along I didn't bother begging him to go I took the kids and went on my merry way.The kids didn't really notice he wasn't around they just had a good time and we were spared embarassment and didn't have to watch him drink.
