The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was heading into this month with a "next month is going to be tough" attitude and stressing over things a month away. I laugh now at the insanity in that!!!!
I've been really devoting myself to my program and am slowly reaching an inner peace and calmness that I haven't known in ages, if ever. The feelings from last January of serenity and peace are returning and I realize it is because I gave up on all my good intentions and actually started doing the foot work to get to where I need to be.
It hasn't been easy somedays, but I've managed to find the half full glass in most. I struggle to carry the program with me to work-there is SO much stress lately there that it is a struggle to focus there, but that is my next area to work on. The other day on my way to work I was already feeling overwelmed and stressed before I got there, so I stopped at Mickey D's for a stress reliever-lol.....and decided to pay for the woman's order behind me (I have found that doing little things for others lifts my mood immensely at times so it was a bit selfish on my part but it worked. I made it to work feeling better about myself and my small contribution to another's day.
My home life is improving because I no longer stress over things that really just don't matter (is the house clean because someone MIGHT come by-lol), and all those little things we spend way to much time caring about. My niece is currently staying with me to finish out her last semester of college and it is soooo nice having her there. Her and my son do homework and study together, and I come home to dinner already cooked and she is sooo funny and fun to be around. She can find laughter in anything and it is a Godsend to our home.
I have another date Sat night with the same man from last week, and though I am looking forward to it, I still have the "whatever happens happens" attitude. I refuse to allow myself to project and am simply enjoying getting to know him at the very slow pace we are doing it. He may call once or twice a week, and sends simple texts and emails. It is pleasant and fun, but not overwelming and consuming and I soooo enjoy it. There is no pressure, thus far, on either part, just a desire to know more about one another. It is nice to just be in the moment for a change with no expectations.
So there ya have it:) An update on thing to this point.....still going strong but in a more calm way and just enjoying the journey one day at a time...
trying my best to just Keep It Simple shelly
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Put down the magnifying glass and pick up the mirror!
I was just talking in therapy about the holidays and how difficult they are for me. I do not need to make them that way. Thank you for reminding me all I need to change is my attitude.
I hope it is okay if share two things. I have just recently heard these two things. "What is- is" that is always. I also heard that, "Getting kick in the chest is or can be a daily event also." We are amongst the common people and the common people do not have a clue about what is going with themselves and so easily strike out at others when they take something said personally and in what they believe is self-defense. So, I believe and as many others who I have met and seem well centered.
Oh, oops, one more thing. You used the used the word selfish and regards to the reward you got inside for sharing with another person. Like... maybe it is self-interst... not selfish. We are so quick to beat up are selves with negative words... and the little kid in us listens and believes.
"If you are going through hell, keep going!" (Author unknown)
