I am currently feeling completely overwelmed, happy and blessed all at the same time.

I'm seeing more and more, daily, the program working in my life as I attempt to make it the center of my life.

I had wanted to do ninety meetings in ninety days, and thus far have managed to make a meeting a day, but honestly it has been such a struggle.

  I spent today running around like a crazy woman at work and stressing wayyyyyyyyy to much as to just HOW I thought I could do that many meetings in that amount of time, and then it hit me!  I'm the hardest on myself.  I feel like I should be further along than I am in my program and when I slip I am devastated and so disappointed and angry at myself that it is unbelievable.  My attempt to CRAM the program into my life at lightening speed was another attempt at perfection, at being the me that I just can't be.........the perfect me:)  Sometimes I am my own worst nightmare, and why is it that I am kinder to other people than myself?

Things have been going well for me. Like I said, I have been doing a meeting a day, and though I doubt I can keep that pace up, I want to try and do at least three meetings a week for awhile, as I have gotten sooo much out of them and met some great folks in the process.   At my F2F last week I asked a lady who has been in the program 17 yrs to sponsor me and she said YES!!!  So I was all excited.  She also attends a really big meeting weekly down state so I am looking forward to all her shares, etc.  The best part is she reminds me sooooo much of my best friend of 16 yrs. 

I also had a date this Sat and it was AMAZING!  Not HE was AMAZING but my attitude was amazing.  I didn't stress over it, or really do anything special for it like I normally would.  I went out and mowed my yard Sat, then ripped the mower apart and was actually covered in oil and gasoline 45 mins before I needed to leave to meet him-lol.  He did turn out to be kinda cute, so I wish I would have at least curled my hair-lol.  He was funny and kind and down to earth, and we laughed and joked about our internet dating experiences thus far.  He asked to see me again and I said yes.  The BEST part of the whole evening was that it was just SIMPLE.........there was no fireworks, no projecting, no nothing.......just a genuinely good conversation and laughter. And I walked away from it having had a nice time without wondering where it was going, or caring but just being happy for a nice dinner and time out.  We've chatted and texted since then but nothing major and I am not rushing anything anymore.  I'm content with what we had Sat and not really sure if I want anything more anytime soon.  When I find myself thinking of him when he is not around I quickly change my thought process to the moment I am in and this helps tremendously with the obsessing part of codependance.  It works if you work it:)

So things have been going well, crazy busy but well.  And as always I am feeling very blessed to have this place and my MIP family.

Thanks so much for letting me share,
Shelly