The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So far so good. It' been almost 3 years since my first Al-Anon meeting 11/06 and 2 years online as well. Not so long compared to many veterans. Not that I'm getting complacent because I know there is so much more for me to do. It's taken this long just to cut through some of my denial and really start to understand Al-Anon principles. One thing that I am noticing is that I have a lot of trouble staying close to people. Either a big row or ruckus happens or I take offense at something . At first, everything offended me and I would knit-pick and find things that bothered me. I was super sensitive and really not taking anything in. Gradually I learned to listen without overreacting or being sensitive. Also I learned to Q-Tip ---> 'Quit Taking it Personally', whatever 'it' is . It's taken a lot of work to get to where I can appreciate people for who they are, instead of expecting things from them. Thank goodness these boards and meetings are here for us .
__________________
"If we do not change our direction, we are likely to end up where we are headed."
•:*¨¨*:•.•:* ♥¨*:•.•:*¨¨ *:• Ancient Chinese Proverb
I agree the alanon program is very subtle and ongoing. I truly learned how to practice the principles of this program in alanon face to face meetings.
It was there that I discovered my defects- inability to listen without judging, pushing people away, inability to listen period.
Slowly, by practicing these principles at meetings I was able to carry the tools outside and implement them in my entire life. Alanon saved my life and sanity
By the way you do not sound too Baffled today.
I just noticed that I bassed the 500 mark in sharing. That is amazing as I feel I do not post often.
I am proud to be a part of this strong recovery community.
Yours in recovery
-- Edited by hotrod on Thursday 1st of October 2009 09:03:16 AM
-- Edited by hotrod on Thursday 1st of October 2009 01:31:14 AM
Well done baffled , your doin great. Accepting that we do have a few problems truly is a big step . We are often way too sencetive for our own good which does us more harm than anyone. I had to learn that everything was not about me , i also heard that when i spot a defect in other people that annoys me , I too have it . YOU spot it YOU got it . didnt impress me much at the time hehe . Listening is a gift something I too had problems with for awhile , the respect that is shown in our meetings to allow someone to speak and not add an opinion is mind boggling to me , no one telling me that I am wrong but being allowed to think the way I want and say so . When I listen I learn its just that simple . For the first time in my life I have become willing to take direction from others experiences I no longer have to know the answers to all of my problems . Louise
Aloha my long lost twin sister...Isn't it amazing that a guy can identify with a gal's reaction to this disease? Actually no I found out when the women in the program suggested that I get in touch with my "female" side. Since my mother was expecting a daughter when I was born and my name had been choosen to be Michelle by then getting in touch with my female side only took several years of refusal and denial before I sat down and told them "Okay teach me." I was an isolater and I was told to look at "fear of and fear from and fear to." I was over sensitive and I was told to look at "past hurts and the consequences of poor choices and past judgments". There was much to learn and lots of teachers for which I am soooo grateful and feel so special that my HP would put them in my life. Don't worry about time...I took longer than you have....soooo stubborn.
. At first, everything offended me and I would knit-pick and find things that bothered me. I was super sensitive and really not taking anything in. Gradually I learned to listen without overreacting or being sensitive. Also I learned to Q-Tip ---> 'Quit Taking it Personally', whatever 'it' is 
. It's taken a lot of work to get to where I can appreciate people for who they are, instead of expecting things from them. Thank goodness these boards and meetings are here for us 
.
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truly is a big step . We are often way too sencetive for our own good which does us more harm than anyone. I had to learn that everything was not about me , i also heard that when i spot a defect in other people that annoys me , I too have it . YOU spot it YOU got it . didnt impress me much at the time hehe .