The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have to get the focus back on me because that crazy behavior crept back in. It took me a day to recognize it. My AH had surgery on Monday. He's been back in AA for about 6 months or so.... things have been so nice. But of course he was anxious about the surgery and so was I . .. Morning of the surgery he took some anti-anxiety medication and his daughter and I laughed as he whispered that to the nurse thinking that we couldn't hear and it was still a secret. Hmmmm, I thought. Well, when we were getting release instructions they gave me prescriptions for antibiotic and Percocet. I asked if there was a non-narcotic pain med he could take and they said only Tylenol and of course he protested. Well they had of course given him pain killers in the IV. Well, Tuesday, the "addict" personality was barking orders loud and strong. I tried to control by keeping the pain killers myself and providing him with the doses according to directions and time intervals -- OH... how do you think that went over? I was the one getting so frustrated though and banging doors and forgetting everything I had learned -- we just went right back into old patterns. Anyway, I went to a meeting tonight and pray that ... I am not sure, that I can calm down. Thanks.
So which slogan will end up the winner....What goes around comes around or This too will pass? HMMMM I know it works if you work it will. I know when ever my alcoholic needed medical treatment for something or other I was always going to have a big pain too...right in my butt. (((((hugs)))))
When my exaH was in hospital for major surgery, he was obviously restricted by the meds he could take (he'd take as many as 20-30 tylenol with codiene tabs a day normally), and had no access to rec drugs or alcohol. Having a very grouchy, frustrated, pathetic aH on my hands while he was in hospital, I actually battled with the nursing staff about getting him more pain medication, cause he just couldn't cope. (I actually was productive and they gave him increased doses What was I thinking??) And when he got home, I was in charge of the percocets of course...up until I became the villan in my aH's eyes and I gave up the role in anger, the pills were gone in a couple days thereafter...sending him to his GP early for more.
Yes, we've all been there. Thank HP for Alanon and options.
the ex A I had had many medical issues at the end of our relationship. He took it all extremely personally and expected me to put him at the center of everything regardless of what was going on for me. Sounds like your husband is at the center and that is where he wants to be.
Yes!! Db55 it does sneak back! My disease of codependency is a daily project for me to work on! A disease is a disease is a disease! There is no cure! Only treatment and management!
I work on me each day particularly the 1st 3 steps because they keep me aware that my life was so very unmanageable under my own power. I am totally dependent on my HP and alanon! The flip side? Thank heavens we have this program! I wonder what people did before the alanon came into being? I know I cannot live without working my program tools and practice daily of what I have learned!
I am so glad you are aware of this and accept it!
Neshema
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
What was I thinking??)