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he was extremely intoxicated. He snapped and started to hit me. he punched me in the chest and he twisted my arms. thankfully, another couple was here and the guy was able to get him off of me. AH then went to bed. after 10 min or so, i went to check on him with my friend. he was unconscious, his body was shaking and there seemed to be blood coming out of his nose. we decided to call 911. when they showed up, they were able to wake him up and he got very irrate. he started to kick the paraqmedics and yell at them. one of the paramedics asked if he had physically hurt me. i guess the marks on my chest and arms gave it away. i said yes, then they called the police. ah started to spit at the cops, they arrested him for domestic battery. they took him to the hospital first cuz they were not sure he had a seizure and b/c they thought he had alcohol poisioning. so he sits in jail today and not allowed out. he will stand in front of the judge and the judge will determine his fate.
meanwhile, i know i did the right thing. he is just making me feel so guilty for calling for help. did i mention he has called me about 45 times??? there's a pay phone inthe cell and i guess they can call as much as they want.
oh! i also told him that when he gets outta jail, he will need to get his things and leave. i will follow thru!!!!!
I'm so sorry to hear that your going through this. It is a good thing the emergency services arrived and that your AH (alcholic husband) is at present being held in a secure place. Abuse of this sort only gets worse and the first priority is your safety. Have you thought about what you are going to do when he is released? have you got any where you can go to stay and be safe? I'm not sure of your situation children, finances etc but you need to make a plan for your safety. I'm sure others here will soon share their ES&H (experience, strength and hope)
Have you ever been to an Al-Anon face to face meeting? you can find information on meetings in your area in the telephone directory and online. Living with the disease of alcoholism is nightmarish, in Al-anon you will find great support and a way to live your life in a safe and healthy way. You can also get into the chatroom here at MIP, just go to the top left hand corner of this page and click on chat room there you can talk to others who have been in your situation.
As for him making you feel guilty well thats typical A behaviour, placing the blame on others to deflect it from themselves. Can you unplug your phone for a while and just ignore him untill you've had chance to gather your thoughts. Please keep safe and keep posting here, we all care for you very much.
Good for you for taking care of you and not accepting the unacceptable behaviour. Your husband may be ill but hitting you is totally unacceptable. I hope you do have the strenght to carry through with what you have said as actions often speak a lot louder than words and as they say in al anon if you keep doing what you have always done you will get what you have always got.
He caused all of this, every thing that happened is his responsibility. No one on this earth has the right to put their hands on another ever.
I would let him call 1,000 times and I just would not answer the phone...that is me of course, think about this he is sober, he is safe, and he can't do anything but think right now...his mind is not clear from the alcohol this will take a few days to do......
If he sits in jail, he will go before a judge and hopefully they will court order him rehab.. I know rehab is always not the answer...but sometimes....just sometimes....they get it.
This will also give you the time you need to get your thoughts in order maybe see a counselor and try a face to face alanon meeting.....
I'm sorry you are in this situation right now. Keep doing the right thing and taking care of yourself as best as possible. Lots of love and support sent from this direction.
I'n so sorry you withstood the wrath of alcohol and am also very glad someone was there to pull him off of you. My heart goes out to you..and your A. I in know way condone violence, but most likely he didn't have a clue as to what he was doing.
May rock bottom rise up to meet him, if this fall wasn't hard enough..
I'm very happy you are o.k.
Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Welcome am so glad u found us , am sorry u had to go thru that with your husb , and please do not drop the charges . perhaps this is what your husb needs to take responsibilty for his behavior . thank God you had company in your home or we may not be conversing right now . for the moment u need space and u have a choice to answer the phone or not . he will be full of apologies and promises when he does talk to you , stay focused and take care of yourself . You are not anyones punching bag . and I truly believe that if they abuse u once it will happen again , until he seeks help . Please find Al-Anon meetings for yourself you need support and u will meet people who have been where your at and they will help u walk thru it. once here you are never alone again . Louise
Aloha Needs...be grateful there was someone there not affraid and able to pull him off of you. Him being the alcoholic. Alcoholic's do this when under the influence. I don't know if your husband would without the influence. You're okay for the moment? You found your way here to family who has shared your experience on various levels. Here is where solutions are if you allow yourself to keep coming back listening to the suggestions and following thru. There has been the police and paramedics, jail and judge for him. You cannot control or cure what he has nor did you cause it as it was said earlier. It really is time to protect yourself as this disease will get worse if he doesn't seek help and you cannot help him. I wish you more courage to not respond to the calls or any guilt or sense of responsibility to soften his consequences.
Call the Hotline number for Al-Anon and find out where the membership gets together to discuss solutions to our problem of living with and in the disease of alcoholism. You'll be glad you did.
Thanks so much! He stands before the judge today to find out his fate. If he gets out today (and i am praying so bad he does NOT) then I told him he is to gather his things and leave. A friend will be with me today when I pick him up. I am so nervous. Pls keep me in your prayers.
You are in my prayers today, and following days. You will need lots of support and face to face meetings will provide them as the days to follow will be very difficult. This is not a healthy situation for you.
Sorry to hear you are suffering. Your A is in good hands. He is receiving medical and legal assistance. Hopefully, the judge will send him to treatment.
Please take care of yourself. Meetings will be of great help in easing your burden. Please make every effort to surround yourself with positive and healthy people. There is a lot of help available.
Good for you for taking care of you and not accepting the unacceptable behaviour. Your husband may be ill but hitting you is totally unacceptable. I hope you do have the strenght to carry through with what you have said as actions often speak a lot louder than words and as they say in al anon if you keep doing what you have always done you will get what you have always got.
hope this helps
Dear "Needs"
I was told that (thank God my AH never struck me) once they begin physical abuse, drinking or sober, it escalates- I agree with Tracy's post- This is just not acceptable-
It took me a long time to learn that alcoholism is a real disease- I feel nothing but compassion for them but I am not going to let a potentially deadly drinker near me- I am so sorry this happened to you- Thank heavens that you had some help
I have a younger brother who has the predisposition to violence when he drinks- He was living with this wonderful lady who thank goodness saw the "hand writing on the wall" when he got violent with her (he shoved her against a wall, then grabbed her hair and pinned her to the floor)- She called the police- They arrested him and let him cool his heels in jail- While he was in jail, she packed his bags and put them out on the porch- He moved in with another drinker and not long after wards he tried to run over someone who angered him with his car- Another jail stay- He is not as yet in any AA meetings-
He called me not long ago, wanting to come stay with me- I refused to take him in- I love him, that will never change, but once they (A's) become violent, that is a deal breaker for me- I am sad that my own little brother has become one whom I fear and must keep at arm's length now- He is not the same little friend I had when we were young- This disease is so strange and confusing and , yes, scary- One just never knows what they are capable of doing
Leaving ones spouse is tough- Staying appears in this case to be "not an option"- IMHO it has now turned dangerous
Please keep coming back- This program really works!
Sending you prayers for peace and protection,
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Live and let live and do it with peace and goodwill to all!!!!
