The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am so glad I read Karilyn's post on resentments today. I have been in a slump, overwhelmed with life pains. I am poor, strapped for time, energy, motivation.
I am lonely and isolated and know getting a ftf support group doesn't come overnight.
I tried a group therapy for a few weeks and can't say I will be able to pursue any relationships there. I wish them all well but I know none of them will be able to be supportive of me. I am glad I am in the place of being able to assess who can and can't meet my needs. At the same time its really hard going to get support of the right kind most days. I know before I simply merged and people pleased and enmeshed. These days I am aware I have needs too rather than attend to everyone elses.
I realize this is all life and I have to find ways to deal with what's on my plate. Of course I don't want to. I know also where wanting someone to rescue me got me, right back here almost penniless and leaving in meager circumstances.
I'm just putting this out there that I'm struggling and some days I feel like I lost.
Maresie, I can identify, this too will pass, this is what we need to keep telling ourselves. I too people pleased to enmesh myself, it was a waste of time. thinking of you and sending prayers your way
MARESIE: HANG IN THERE! I CAN SEE YOU ARE STRUGGLING WITH SO MUCH. GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK & REALLY TAKE IT EASY. HP WILL TAKE CARE OF YOU. I KNOW HE TAKES PRETTY GOOD CARE OF ME. KATHLEEN
The only way I know to mop up the molasses is to throw some kitty litter down. Sometimes you have get down to the nitty gritty of things.
It means taking life on life's terms, but doing it in a way that is manageable. Baby steps. Right at that moment when you are feeling really bad, say "ENOUGH". Refocus that energy into something else. Often I will do something that requires me to focus: an intense crossword puzzle, a complicated recipe or anything that keeps your mind off the other stuff. Before you know it, time passes and you've gotten through that moment. The more positive moments you can create the better. It may seem silly, but I know it works for me. Keep trying and moving forward. It's the only way things will work. Be patient with yourself. Love and blessings to you.
Live strong, Karilynn & Pipers Kitty
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It's your life. Take no prisoners. You will have it your way.
Thanks for the ideas of focus, I have been struggling with this lately too. Keep getting sucked back into wishing things were the way they were a couple of months ago.... Anyway, one day at a time, one moment at a time sometimes. I just have to get through the moment without doing something stupid... :D
thank you Karilyn. I suppose it is a fantasy that I can come out of 7 years of crisis and craziness and just breeze through things. I am focused, for once on a future but it is like you say very nitty gritty and horrible. I set goals and set more goals but they seem very small in the face of insurmountable obstacles.
