The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My exAH had moved to CA from SC to be with an exgf. Called me yesterday to tell me he loves me and misses me... Come to find out last night he's been kicked out and is basically on the street there and doesn't know what to do. He's using again, drinking again and the move has been very bad for him but he loves her.... I encouraged him to get out of CA because he has a long bad history there and go back to SC where he has clean and sober friends and a place to stay. He said I was the only one he told the whole story to, he is lost and confused. He wants me back... I want my exbf back... who knows what the ex bf wants... Why can't anything ever be simple? I know I'm doing better because I can sit back and laugh about all the insanity and not get mired in it.
Well the bad thing is it felt a lot better when I was enmeshed with my bf than this. Now I just feel sick all the time. The plus side of that I have lost 15 lbs. in a month out of the 20 I gained over the six I was with him. I sure am wondering how long it's going to take for me to get past this. I still cry a little every day and he's still the first thing on my mind when I wake up in the morning and the last thing I think about when I go to sleep. I miss him so much. Tough times is an understatement but it HAS been worse and I have been strong and gotten through. I just don't like to have to, this hurts and has been hurting every day for a month at least. I know what I must learn: patience, patience, patience, don't center my life around someone else's (you think I woulda got that by now...), don't try to change/push/fix people, don't let my vengeful mean side creep up when I'm in pain, learn how to deal with disappointment, don't share everything I'm feeling/thinking keep some of it inside. Just to name a few.
