The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I remember a few years ago when I first came to this board, I was asking this question about my AH. I guess I have learned something because now I only ask it about me.
Quiz Question:
How long will I stay in this stupid 19 year marriage?
a- forever
b- just for today
c- any day now I am seeing the lawyer/kicking him out/fill in the blank
I wish I knew my own mind. I guess that is what it has come to-- I know that the only one I have control over is me (and that "control" can be pretty precarious at best!) My therapist says I will know it is time when I know--really? I doubt my intuition (because it put me here in the first place!)
I am sick and tired of the sick and tired life @ this house. Yeah- he is having a bad weekend again. 2 relatively good weeks gave me some hope- a couple of bad days kicks me back to the curb.
Thanks MIP gang for a place to vent from the ledge!
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In the long run the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip.- Daniel L. Reardon
*He's having a bad week end *, dosent mean u have to go with him . Do something nice for yourself this weekend look up an old friend , out for lunch do what u need to do for yourself . You know there is nothing u can do about him . and as to the question When will enough be enough ? Only u know the answer to that question one day u will KNOW thats its time to go - or that its okay to stay , you won't have to discuss it with any one YOU WILL KNOW . Enjoy the rest of the weekend . Louise
I don't know what to tell you. I still get on the fence and it has been more than twice as long as your marriage. Of course, I didn't figure out what I was dealing with until 14 years in. Still and all.
I see hope for you, because you haven't lost your sense of humor. Or you have recently found it again. Whichever. A good sign, IMNSHO
I like what Abbyal said--go have some fun. Best "revenge" and all.
This has absolutely nothing to do with your situation, as if that will stop me, because I am reminded. There was a time when I was a child when my father had been in hospital for weeks and then recuperating at home for quite a while. And it was the 4th of July. And my mother made a picnic and she and I walked to a shady place by a little pond where some cattails grew and there were red-winged blackbirds. I certainly hadn't expected it, and she had plenty to do, that is for sure. I think that was such a lovely thing for her to do for me.
I hope you decide to "make a picnic" and take yourself out for the day. It would be a lovely thing to do for yourself.
Blessings, Temple
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It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
Aloha gknee...Answer B is my only answer for how to live now. Just got off the phone with a program sister and she has recently hit the wall and was telling me that she ended up going to her medical support people, breaking down and crying and asking "Can you please help me. I can't do this anymore." She said that her response was "Yes now we can." I am sooo glad she ran out of steam and broke down enough that she could overcome her ego and pride and be the one to ask for help rather than the one that always gave it.
If you get to the meetings and do the same thing you will find help and more than just a. b. c. solutions. Certainly b. will always be the first and then there will be alternatives that will help you arrive at the right solution "for you" and for the "right reason." For me that is how HP works when I provide the patience humility and willingness to follow thru. If I don't change in me what needs to be change I end up with the same results I have expecting something different. That is kinda the program definition of insanity.
Sometimes getting out of a bad situation is about changing it not ending it.
I was in for 7 years and beat myself to a pulp. I'm 2 years out and only beginning to regroup. Leaving a marriage is huge. Please don't beat yourself up. I know making a plan be worked well for me. I took months to make one.
