The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My ESH is to find out where she is and call the police. Text her back and ask "where are you?" That's what I would do. Then, I would call my sponsor or an al anon friend right away. Your daughter is in God's/HP's hands and no one else's. My best thoughts and prayers are with you both right now. hugs, J.
Can you get in touch with some of her friends? Perthaps she may tell them where she is if she doesn't get in touch with you.
I've been through this. My son ended up calling a friend when he found himself wanting to end his life. THANK GOD his friend cared enough to respond to his cry for help.
Again...try to get in touch with some of her friends. When there are threats of suicide or the addict feels desperate, we HAVE to do whatever we can to intercede. This is not enabling. This could be saving a life possibly. Your child's.
Sending prayers and thoughts of strength for you and your daughter.
Honestly I have heard this soo many times with the A's in my life in just the past month. Someone told me usually it's just a cry for help. If someone actually wanted to committ suicide they wouldn't tell anyone they would just do it.
I think what the others have said is best. Find out where she is, call the police and leave it up to HER HP to help her. You can't help her.
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"Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip." Will Rogers
What I was told that works in these instances is to call 911 and tell them she is threatening suicide. She will be taken to a hospital psych unit for 72 hours for observation (I assume that is standard in all states, not sure).
In any case if she is serious she can get the help she needs. If she is crying wolf, she will think twice before making that type of threat again.
Take Care, Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
Another phone number she can have is the hotline number to the local AA central Office. Recovering members of Alcoholics are most best at getting an alcoholic help. Not always of course but better. The suggestions to you about Al-Anon are made in seriousness and from experiences. I hope you also call the Al-Anon hot line for help.
hi again, thank you all for your help. the friend has checked on my daugther and she is still drunk but alive.so yes she was crying wolf again. didn't phone police this time as they have not bin very helpfull in the pass.
i know i need to go to a f2f meeting, not many round here, going to first one next tues. if i dont start looking after ME soon i will need spych unit, cos im sinking fast. thanks again. Mary j
In my experience, life in the sixties and seventies, college, losing a young AH to death, and my A being zapped back twice from attempting suicide......
When one voices it, listen. Someone posted to call the police. I would do this. If we take away consequences from peoples behavior, they won't learn.
It cannot hurt to act. It can hurt to not act.
Maybe if my first AH had told me how sad he was, he would have lived to raise his kids.
I know from myself, I can get real feeling like I don't want to be here anymore. Well I used to. Found it was more I did not want things to be the way they were anymore. So learned to look at my options. And change things.
the scripted phrase she has been saying to him is the same one I use with my AH when he gets that way "I am sorry to hear that you are suffering . I hope you use the resources you have to get the help you need"
I cannot rescue my AH any more than you can rescue your daughter. You need to insulate yourself against the manipulation (I know, easier said than done-- especially when it is your child!)
Give her phone #s for AA and rehab places but let her make the calls. If she is serious about wanting help- she can find it. I think that the call to mom (or the spouse in my case) is just more avoidance.
I closed my home as a pseudo-rehab facility and detox center. There are professionals to do that work!
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In the long run the pessimist may be proved right, but the optimist has a better time on the trip.- Daniel L. Reardon
You did not mention your daughter's age? Teenaged? If so, her brain is not yet completely developed. An older alcoholic might be able to ride out a binge and seek recovery on their own timetable but with a younger person they may not even be able to comprehend how serious the situation is and that help is available. I believe her youth could make the situation even more perilous.
