The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Was just thinking,"ok what makes MIP so important now?" A is gone. No other A's in my life.
My AH is on my mind and in my heart every day. Many days I think of calling him.
I believe if I did not come here, his disease would still control me. I would be analyzing him, asking him to come out here for awhile, wanting the man I married to just magically appear.
Others shares and support mean so much to me. When I remind others of things, I remind me too.
I don't want to forget that there are things that cannot be controlled, and how to detach from things.
This place reminds me how much I love my AH no matter what,but that does not mean I can have him in my life.
When, well for me anyway, I love someone I never stop. I still remember the first time I layed eyes on him. I remember always feeling excited to be around him.
It was so good to see him when he was so into his program of recovery. Also I appreciated things he shared when he was using. Ultimatums make it worse, not wanting to be far away where he could not get any drugs, what works, what does not.
Anyway the serenity I have felt for years, came from what I learned here from other members...
I still need ya, I am not cured....(o: love,debilyn
Maybe so Deb, but don't forget we also need you, and your ESH. You still have him in your heart, and you will always have wonderful memories to remind you.
HUGS, RLC
-- Edited by debilyn on Monday 22nd of June 2009 06:03:14 PM
I still need ya, I am not cured....(o: love,debilyn
I don't think any of us are *cured*...I believe that old patterns can come back if we are not vigilent....we have to be the "stewards" of our souls by working the steps...GIVING as well as RECEIVING esh....the fellowship---connectedness that we need that we were built for....interdependence on each other and dependence on our Higher power.....I don't plan on ever leaving that or being deprived of it again (interdependence on safe others----dependence on God).......not having those 2 very important things is what go me so codependent ......
Its a bit like trying to carry water in a bucket with a hole in it.
Al-anon plugs that hole.
And that means for me, that you are the one that sometimes plugs the hole in my bucket and stops my stuffing from falling out.
And, you know what my sweet friend, I have just been through yet another tough time that has needed me to step back and regroup, however, here I am back again in the midst of this family and finding that your post prompted me to begin to respond once more.
Al-anon is you, and me and Rosie, and RLC and the rest of this family...WE ARE AL-ANON and evermore shall be.
Suzannah
__________________
Out of the ruin of my past I have found the fortress of myself and I know how to defend it.
Strive for WISDOM; Seek SERENITY; NEVER compromise your INTEGRITY.
I think its a journey not a destination and we are somewhat like pilgrims guiding each other along the route. I am grateful for you insight over the past three years and my life has changed immeasureably somethings for the better, somethings not so good but I certainly would not think the focus should not be on you if you know what I mean.
Thank you for sharing this. For me, Alanon is a life program, not just simply to deal with the A in my life. It allows me to function as a healthy individual in society. My problems extend beyond the A and are really all about me. I loved this program because it was about me and whether the A is in my life or not, I'm still me. Your recovery shines brightly and I am grateful to be able to benefit from your E,S&H. We are always a work in progress :)
