The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I'm making a bit of progress (I think) - I didn't even realize it until two days ago. I feel that one moment I can be "fine" and the next totally out of control. I see it as progress as I was usually ALWAYS out of control...
My DH is a dry drunk. When all the shit hit the fan in our marriage, *I* bought every book on recovery, al-anon, infidelity, etc. *I* did all the work and reading, and found I got resentful because *I* felt I did everything for recovery. Part of me still feels a bit like this but in reality, we're all different. When my d-drunk decided AA was not going to be part of recovery, I felt this was a huge mistake and could have told him every feeling he was going to have... and I DID tell him. THAT was MY mistake. I need to let him figure out his feelings in his own way.
He's been struggling. I don't address it other than listen when he wants to talk. We bought a camper. It seemed all exciting and fun, only this weekend was our first fathers day camping....LOL...now I could have said "hey listen, campgrounds are filled with drinkers" and thought it and WANTED to say it, but didn't. Now, this weekend he is struggling, and I'm letting him work it himself. I listened.
This may or may not have the outcome I hope for, but what I'm realizing is if it doesn't, I will move forward and keep surviving.
I missed Al-anon meetings this week and FEEL it. I had a horrible week too. It was a struggle for ME.
Just...thanks for listening. I'm proud for my little progress and scared.
Goody for you! I think a body is really making progress when she senses it herself. I think it is easier for somebody else to see it in us. Won't you be glad to get back to your meeting! Thanks for sharing.
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It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
Good for you for detaching from his program (or not) and simply focusing on YOU. Once I got busy MYOB, minding my own business, it was easier & that detachment felt so good - a relief. And you are right, no matter what happens you will survive.
Way to work it with openness & acceptance. rock on!
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Light, Love, Peace, Blessings & Healing to Us All. God's Will Be Done. Amen.
I definitely felt I did all the work when I was in a relationship with an AH. Guss what that work paid off when I was not in a relationship. Whatever recovery you do is worth it for you.
